For birth parents in open adoption, holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day can be daunting. However emotionally charged, it is important to remember to recognize your child's everyday parents. This Father's Day take some time to consider how you want to honor your child's Dad. I've included some ideas.

1. A Picture. I know. You're scratching your head. What picture could we possibly have that the adoptive parents don't already have? Plus, they have the child in their home! They know what the kid looks like! Consider this: during a recent visit, did you take a picture of your child's Dad with your child? No? Ask your child's Mom if you can have a nice photo of the two of them, print it and put it in a sentimental Dad frame. Dads like pictures and displaying their children.

2. A Heartfelt Card. It's hard to find Father's Day (and Mother's Day) cards that fit what you're trying to say. Go to Hallmark and find the section of Father's Day cards that are under the heading of "someone special." There's always one that kind of fits the situation. And don't just sign your name. Tell him something that you are thankful for in this past year. Or, go the funny route (like this one!). Just don't forget the note from you.

3. If you're a birth mother, you've probably spent a lot of time bonding with your child's Mom. Consider taking your child's Dad out for lunch for Father's Day. Before everyone gets all "Juno" on me, I would suggest in clearing the time, day and total even with your child's Mom. Trust me. It just works better that way. I'm a wife and I like to know when my Husband is going to lunch with people. Because I want them to bring me home something good.

4. Digital Photo Keychain! Have you seen these? Even I want one. As I said above, Father's love to show off their kids. Help him do that. And if he's not technically inclined, help him set it up.

There are a million and one other presents that you can buy for your child's Dad. Trust me. Even the smallest gesture will be greatly appreciated. If you don't have the time to send a card (though I'm writing this well in advance so get to the store today, people!) or the money to send a present, simply pick up the phone on Father's Day and wish him a happy day. Even that will be warmly welcomed.

What are you getting for your child's (adoptive) Father this year? Care to share any ideas or past presents? (Also, I meant to post this yesterday to follow up the previous Father's Day Gift Guide but we had a very hectic day. Sorry for the delay. It's not because I have a vendetta against adoptive fathers!)

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For more on holidays, read these posts.



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