I’m doing two separate gift guides. I know you’re excited. This one will be a list of ideas for adoptive parents, adoptees and birth mothers to give to a birth father. If you’re happening in via Google and don’t know what I mean by birth father, I’m referring to a father who has placed his child for adoption. Many more biological fathers are becoming actively involved in open adoptions at the same time that many adult adoptees are reuniting with their first fathers. These are some gift ideas for those fathers as they deserve some recognition as well.
1. Can’t go wrong with pictures. Trust me. A single picture, framed, would be just perfect. Consider the interests of the birth father when picking or taking the picture. For example, if you like a different sports team than he does, consider placing the child in his team’s colors or outfit. (And send another picture featuring your team!)
2. Take it one step further and do a picture book. While you’re at it, use Blurb. (Shutterfly and others are nice but Blurb is 100% better.) Pick out some great pictures from the past year and put them in the book, get it printed and ship it off. Easy as pie. You can include words to caption photos or choose quotes that are pertinent to your relationship.
3. Speaking of things he likes, consider tickets to a game, concert or other event… and send (adoptive) dad along. It’s baseball season, after all! And golf. Or just send them fishing. Men aren’t going to willingly ask to bond by themselves all that often, so encourage it with the dual gift.
4. For adult adoptees: a card suffices. Trust me.
5. For adult adoptees: If you want to do more, consider an evening out together. If you live too far away for such a thing, find a restaurant in his town that carries more than just pizza and have it delivered for lunch or dinner on Father’s Day. (Be sure to discuss this with any wife in the household ahead of time so that there isn’t a conflict of meals!)
6. For adult adoptees: No, really, they still want pictures. Childhood, adult and so on. Framed, loose or in a book like I mentioned above.
7. For birth mothers: If your child’s biological father did not attend the birth of your shared placed child, consider making copies of birth mementos. I know. They are yours. But if you are already at a place where you are considering honoring your child’s birth father on Father’s Day, you are most likely nearing a place where you can be comfortable in sharing memories that “belong” to you. Consider it, okay?
There are a million and one other things that you can do to honor your child’s (or your own) birth father. Any normal Father’s Day present on “normal” Dad gift guides will suffice. These are just those little extras that are unique to the situation.
What have you done for your child’s birth father in years past? Are you doing anything new this year?
Tomorrow I will talk about gift ideas for birth mothers (and fathers) to buy for their child’s adoptive/everyday Dad. Tune in! (And keep those e-mails coming!)
For more on birth fathers, read these posts.