Well, I did it. I talked to my Pastor about the fact that I am a birth mother, our adoption, openness and my passion for helping support young mothers and families. I didn't do it in person as I had originally intended in my head and heart. However, a lot can be said during a good phone conversation.

It helped that I had some other things to talk about before I broached the subject. I needed to ask a question about reimbursement for a new project that I've taken on regarding families in our church. After that was over, I asked why our church doesn't have a website. His answer, "No one ever offered to do it." So, now you're looking at our church's new webmistress. And then I bit the bullet.

I broached the subject by first talking about my passion.

"Pastor M, does our church have a program to support young mothers and families?" I thought this was an innocent enough way to broach the entire subject as it was something that I wanted to talk about in addition to the adoption subjectry. He responded with the local group that our church is affiliated with (as well as a few other churches). He told me what they do: they offer clothing and supplies, help to find resources (oh, thank GOODNESS!) as well as counseling for those experiencing post-abortion grief. (Before you jump on me for asking why they don't offer post-adoption grief counseling, read on.)

We continued to talk about the benefits of helping young families get on their feet and a few other members of our church who were involved with the endeavors. And then, I continued to chomp down on that bullet.

"Oh yes, this is a very important issue to me because, *deep breath*, I'm a birth mother. I placed my first born, a daughter, for adoption. It's a fully open adoption and they come out here twice a year and we go out there twice a year so you'll be meeting everyone eventually..."

At the ellipses there I continued to ramble on for a good five minutes. It's what I do when I'm really nervous about a subject and no one stops me from talking! I told Pastor M how funny the Munchkin is in some of the things she says and does. He knows that she is two years older than Nicholas and that JD is sixteen days older than Nick. And where J and D live. And. And. And.

I was waiting for some sort of condemnation, not because I was a big bad sinner because our Pastor isn't like that, but because of our openness. Our last Pastor, who married me and Josh and baptized our son, was kind enough about the adoption but didn't understand the openness and made no attempt to learn. I tried not to hold it against him but he didn't make my Mother's Days any easier.

Instead of feeling that condemnation, Pastor M replied with this gem, that brings tears to my eyes even now. In explaining how we visit about four times per year, he responded with, "You keep that contact going. It's important."

I could have fallen off of my chair. I don't know if Pastor M has had experience with open adoption in the past. To be honest, if he had I would be rather shocked as it is not an overwhelming presence in our area. However, the compassion that he extended to me with those two little sentences was so touching and needed in my life. If he hasn't had any experience with openness, surely God gave him those words.

Our conversation continued as he named a few others who have adopted children within our church. Of course, being me, I already knew of the families. Not because I actively sought them out. No. As many other bloggers have stated, adoption seems to stalk me down and beat me over the head with its presence. In the same week, I was introducted to a family who has two children in their pre-teen ages who were adopted (this information was told to me because she shares my kidney disorder) and another family brought home their newly adopted son and it was printed in the church bulletin. Yes, I wanted to hide from adoption that Sunday. Overwhelming!

Anyway, I digress. What I'm trying to say is: I talked to my Pastor. He knows that I am a birth mother. He knows that our adoption is fully open. And he is supportive. What a load off!

That's not to say that I didn't dread going to choir on Thursday evening and sitting next to the Pastor's wife during practice. That's not to say that I'm not dreading the next thirteen weeks (yes, thirteen) of our new membership class lead by, you guessed it, Pastor M. Not only will we be learning about the church (in general) and the church (as in our church) but Pastor M will be learning about us. As you can imagine, since I've now been open about my daughter and my status as a birth mother, it would probably be in poor fashion to lie to the Pastor or go out of my way to hide things. I'm sure this will prove to be another interesting learning experience about people, faith and adoption.

As always!