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I often advise birth parents to seek out a therapist or counselor. Many times people don’t want to do such a thing, claiming that they can deal with their issues on their own. I was once a member of that choir. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help or that I had issues that were really above and beyond my scope of understanding. However, when I finally did so, my life began to change, to improve.
How do you know if you need a therapist? Usually you have a gut-feeling that something isn’t right and that you’d like to fix it but you can’t quite figure out how. Here is a (non-comprehensive) list of things that might lean in that direction.
- Your anxiety is keeping you from living the life that you know you should or could be.
- You are using drugs or alcohol to cope with the feelings or emotions at hand.
- You are experiencing bouts of uncontrollable crying or severe depression.
- You are dealing with a lot of anger.
- People have mentioned it and you’ve ignored them… or lashed out in anger.
- You’ve tried everything you can think of and, still, you haven’t improved. Or, perhaps, you’ve gotten worse.
- You have thoughts of harming yourself or suicide.
If the last point fits you, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK. You are not alone and help is available.
If the other points sound like you, it’s time to really consider finding a therapist with experience in birth parent grief and loss. I know, I know. I didn’t want to either. Soon I will tell you exactly why therapy for birth parents is not only a good thing but why it should be a necessary thing. You are not weak for considering a therapist. In fact, you may be stronger than the rest of the general population.
Stay tuned.
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