I love when I learn something in church that can apply to other areas of my life. Right now, as we're entering the Advent season, we're reading along in Luke. Today we focused on the prophecy from Zecheriah (John the Baptist's Dad) when re regained the ability to speak. To help the congregation understand things a bit more clearly, our (amazing) Pastor went on to describe the differences between contracts and covenants. As I was in the choir loft (first time!) and without a pen, I couldn't take notes. So this is from memory. Apologies!

Contracts set up a limited liability for both sides. They stress what won't be done, what will be done under certain provisions and allow room for both parties to mutually dissolve the agreement.

Covenants are different. They are a special agreement. Instead of limited liability, you instead have unlimited responsibility to the other party. (Can you see my ears perking up in the choir loft?) Instead of stressing what won't be done, the focus is instead on everything that you can possibly do for the other party involved in the covenant. And unlike contracts, no matter what the other party does, due to your unlimited responsibility, you wouldn't want to dissolve the covenant.

Another point that was stressed was the fact that contracts are entered into with distrust. You outline every possible problem and outcome because you don't trust that the other party will adhere to their side of the agreement. Instead, covenants are based on the trust that the other side of the party will behave like you, offering unlimited responsibility to the other and upholding the agreement in general.

Of course, in regards to Luke we're talking about the covenant from God that our enemies (whatever they might be) will be thwarted so that we may worship God without fear. Yet, how much of this could we take to real, everyday life?

Josh and I believe our marriage is a covenant. There's no contract here. (Not that either of us came to the marriage with many possessions that would have necessitated a prenup.) Granted, I get peeved if he doesn't take out the trash. And he absolutely hates when I leave my socks laying around. (I do it. I admit it.) But neither of us are going anywhere. We made a special promise, with God in the middle, to uphold our marriage vows.

And so, as my mind was turning wheels, grinding gears and probably blowing smoke up in the choir loft, I couldn't help but wonder how different open adoption "agreements" would be if everyone (as in all adult sides) treated it as a covenant with one another? (We don't even have to involve God as, obviously, not all involved in/with open adoption are religious.) Just simply stating that you believe that this agreement results in an unlimited responsibility on your part to do everything you can and that, no matter what, you won't break the agreement. Even with unforseen problems at the time of agreement, if things need to ebb and flow and create change, isn't that still adhering to the agreement that you will work out whatever problems you have?

My mind is on overdrive and I'm simply "typing aloud." In quite a few areas in my life, today's message convicted me. Maybe instead of expecting so much of others, I should constantly be thinking of what I can do to help the people that I am involved with in some form or fashion. And that includs our open adoption. Am I doing all I can? Am I doing enough? Can I be doing more? I'm not even necessarily trying to point fingers at those who have closed adoptions or not upheld their own side as a birth parent. I'm wondering if I could be doing more. Couldn't we all be doing something more?

Hope today finds you well. :)