e-mail
Playing off Adrienne’s recent book review and gift ideas from Coley for your placed child, I offer up this book review. Books are my thing as I’m a huge book nerd so I always try to buy the Munchkin books as presents. However, this was the first adoption related book that I bought for the Munchkin. And yes, I cleared it with her parents first.
The Tummy Mummy by Michelle Madrid-Branch. I was unsure when I originally ordered it that I would want to give it to the Munchkin on our visit this past summer. I didn’t read the book before purchasing so I wasn’t sure what was contained within the pages, whether I would agree with the overall message or if it would be overtly offensive to either me, J & D or the Munchkin. It wasn’t. Whew!
The book follows “the tummy mummy” through her decision to place the child within her womb for adoption. One thing that I particularly liked about this book was the fact that the author did not hide or conceal the fact that the tummy mummy loved her child. It is a common misconception by the general public that birth mothers are cold and unfeeling and that they have no love for their child. After all, “how could they just give their baby away?” This book helps to dispell that myth for the child reading it which, of course, is the most important person to understand that their first mother loved them dearly.
Interestingly, to provide visual aspects for the child reader, the adoption decision and process is guided by a wise owl. I didn’t have a wise owl and that brings me to the point I need to make about all adoption books:
No book out there, unless you write your own childrens’ book, is going to be your exact story. There may be some similar ones. There will be some contrastingly different ones. But your story is not (yet) in words. Don’t let this scare you away from buying adoption related books for your birth child or your own child. Remember, different is good and the more that we learn about our differences the more we can begin to understand our sameness.
That said, the placement with the adoptive family is kind and loving. Obviously, a childrens’ book is not going to delve into the over-their-heads concept of birth mother grief and loss, nor would we want it to. At this point in Munchkin’s life, I just need her to understand two concepts:
1. I have and always will love her.
2. Her parents have and always will love her.
This books help accomplish that task in a beautifull written and even more beautifully illustrated manner.
As I said, I did ask J & D if I could purchase this book first. Adoption is a heavy topic and it is their responsibility to teach her, not my own. I wanted to share this book with her as I feel this overwhelming need to be sure that she knows that I love her. When I asked, it was met with a gracious, “of course,” and that was that. I encourage all birth parents who are thinking of buying their child a book on a topic that could create waves for whatever reason to run it by their child’s parents first. If they say you can’t give it to them now, buy it and save it for later in their life.
Also, this book is the first in the Adoption Means Love series. The second book, entitled A Perfect Lesson was supposed to be released in early 2006 but I have not seen or heard of its release yet. Keep an eye out!
You mentioned this one before to me, and it sounds wonderful. This is going to be one of Nate’s Christmas presents as he’s had some prior difficulties with the concept of his birthmother, although at times lately he seems to “get it.” But the more we can talk about it to him — and books help — the better for him.
Thanks for this review. Amazon, here I come!
Judy; I think Nate will like it. Also, while I feel it does have a more domestic feel, you can definitely turn it into international as it doesn’t say, “They were from Ohio and the birth mother was from Pennsylvania,” or anything like that… it does leave room for understanding and personal story incorporation!
Oh, Jenna, I haven’t seen this one before!! It looks good.
I’m a book nerd as are both my kids. Most days Noah would rather read a book than play with a toy.