For February, I read The Girls by Lori Lansens. Suggested by another birth mother for my book review series, I picked it up from our local library and then started wondering why my friend said this would be a good pick for my book review series. From what I could tell, the birth parent part of the story line ended with the girls' birth. (Read on to find out how I was wrong.)

The fictional story, set in Canada, is the autobiography of a craniopagus twin. (Twins conjoined at the head, sharing too many important arteries and vessels to be separated.) One of the twins, Rose, begins to write their story and eventually convinces the other twin, Ruby, to add in her own chapters. Their writing styles differ greatly and provide an interesting break in tone that keeps you interested throughout the book.

The girls live with their parents, whom they call Aunt Lovey and Uncle Stash. Unless I missed it, no formal adoption of the girls ever happened. We are told early on in the book the story of their birth in the hospital where Aunt Lovey worked and how their birth mother left them behind and died shortly after. It is later debated by the two girls whether or not their birth mother really died or if she was still alive. (But you have to read the book to find out the answers!)

So, as the story of the birth and their birth mother dying is told very early in the book, I was really wondering, "Why was this book suggested? What's the big deal? The birth mother played no integral part." And then one of the twins had sex, got pregnant and ended up placing her baby for adoption.

Didn't see that coming, did you? Neither did I.

And I wept. The twins were sent in their last few months of pregnancy to live with Aunt Lovey's sister across the line in Detroit, Michigan. In the chapter during which the girls are staying with their aunt and preparing for birth, my heart broke a thousand times over. Some of the sentences and phrases used to describe things hit so close to home.

This one, struck me, deeply:

I couldn't imagine a life with my baby. I couldn't think of one without.

How many birth parents have been through that process? I was afraid that since the book focuses so intently on life as a craniopagus twin, the emotions of birth and placement would be neglected. While they don't necessarily play a main role in the book, their descriptions in that one chapter and each time they are brought up throughout the book are deeply moving and, in my opinion, spot on with what so many other birth mothers experience. Again, it further proves that while our situations differ (I was not a craniopagus twin), emotions can still be similar.

Another amazing paragraph brings up a topic which I intend to write about in the future:

Aunt Lovey had encouraged me, throughout my pregnancy, to read the books she'd brought home from the library (telling the staff she was teaching a class on obstetrics to some student nurses) about pregnancy and childbirth. I'd tried to read the books, randomly picking one or another from the stack, but those books were not written for women having babies. Those books were written for mothers.

Those same thoughts were why I didn't read a single book in preparation for birthing the Munchkin. My Mother bought me a lamaze video (since I was on bed rest and couldn't go to a class) but, to be honest, I watched part of it, once, and it made me feel too inferior to watch again. The way this book touches on that subject is truthful and heartfelt.

The mother never looks at her child, never holds her before she is taken away to be delivered to the adoptive family. My heart broke again for that simple fact.

As the girls' health begins to deteriorate, the mother talks more and more about finding her daughter before they die. (They celebrate their thirtieth birthday and thus become the longest living craniopagus twins.) Discussions of a private investigator occur. Worries about whether it would be fair to say, "Hi, I'm your birth mother and this is your aunt attached to my head" would be fair to do to a young girl. Further discussions about whether it would be right to come into her life, only to die shortly thereafter, thus leaving her twice in her lifetime. While many birth mothers may not be facing an early life time death as they contemplate what reunion may mean to their placed child or how having your aunt attached to your mom's head might make a placed child react, I feel that many of the emotions are the same. I really feel that the thought processes of both sisters will resonate with many in the adoption triad.

For those reasons, coupled with the amazing writing, I suggest this book to my readers. Not only will you get an amazing story of living life but you'll get a unique look into a birth mother's heart... and her sister's as well. The language, for the most part, is not overly offensive. Some ethical considerations are called into question regarding the birth father but, at the same time, his actions that lead up to the pregnancy weren't particularly ethical either. Does one bad turn deserve another? It, at the very least, will make you think.

While adoption doesn't play the biggest role in this book (the twins and their life accomplishments do), it plays enough of a role to add it to your adoption reading library. While some would call this a fictional story with little chance of ever happening, the fact remains that the emotions discussed are real, heartbreaking and deserve to be considered.

(By the way, the book is coming out in paperback in April of this year and is available for preorder on Amazon.com. Grab it!)

We've got a book (or two?) lined up for March. But, as always, if you have suggestions of a book to read that features a birth parent as the main character, by all means, suggest it to me!

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For More Book Reviews, Check Out:
2. Singing Bird.
1. The Tummy Mummy (a children's book).