I think almost any blogger would agree, birth parent or otherwise, that the number one reason that blogging can be a positive experience is the learning tied into blogging. Let me tell you, I have learned so much in my many years as a blogger. Even more awesome is the fact that I am learning on a daily basis in many different ways.

Here are a few ways that you can learn as a blogging birth parent.

1. You will learn about yourself. For the birth parents who have been forced to keep quiet for years and years, never able to sort through the emotions they have concerning the relinquishment of their child, writing is a great way to learn what is really going on inside. For birth parents who are transitioning from a closed adoption to a reunion with their child, it can be beneficial for all to sort through those feelings with concrete things like words on a screen. It helps make sense of thoughts bumping around in ones' own head! For birth parents in open adoptions, it is a great way to see the chronological process of your grief over the years. Your thoughts, emotions and opinions will change (just like, for example, those who are parenting watch the way that they think, feel and act regarding day-to-day parenting change) and being able to go back and see what has changed and why is a great way to learn more about yourself.

2. You will learn about and from other birth parents. I'll write a little more about the inner circle of birth mothers and blogging in another "pro" post later this week but suffice it to say that as a blogging birth parent, you are part of an intimate group of people who want to share, support and help you learn. These people, mothers and fathers of relinquishment, are more than willing to share their stories and hold your hand as they watch your story progress. If you are new to any part of the process, be it a brand new birth mother or a biological father entering reunion, you can bet that someone else has been there and done this and will be able to offer you advice and emotional support as you continue in your own journey.

3. You will learn about and from adoptive parents. I have met some great adoptive parents and learned so much from them over the years. (On the flip side, I have also met some not so great adoptive parents and, you know what? I've also learned from them! The same can be said for birth parents, no doubt.) I count blogging adoptive parents as an invaluable resource. I have bounced topics off of them to make sure that I am viewing things from my daughter's Mom's point of view in an acceptable manner. They have been honest and blunt when needed and they have let me cry and rant when needed as well. They have taught me about the stereotypes that they endure and the assumptions people make about them and their families. I am just as riled up about the unethical things that adoptive parents endure as I am about what expectant parents and birth parents are being forced to endure.

4. You will learn about and from adoptees. This, right here, is the most amazing learning resource. And its available to birth parents and adoptive parents alike, whether they're blogging or not. Take some time. Sort through the adoptee blogs. The angry ones. The not-so-angry ones. The ones that get angry if people tell them that they should be angry when they don't feel angry. The ones pushing for change. The ones that don't want to reunite. The ones that don't know if they want to reunite. The ones that have been rejected. The ones that have rejected contact. The ones that have found a grave. The ones that have never found their biological families. Read them all. Every last one of them, even if you think, "Oh, he's an international adoptee so the issues are different and thus don't apply to me as a domestic birth mother." You're wrong. The issues apply. The specific may differ but the issues apply. Read them. Learn from them. Ask questions. (And remember my tip earlier: do so with a respectful tone!)

5. You will learn from those who are not touched by adoption. As you read blogs, even those not touched by adoption in any specific way, you will see adoption mentioned. In political arguments about abortion, adoption will be brought up. On blogs that focus on celebrities, adoption will be mentioned. In movie critic blogs, adoption will be discussed. Parenting blogs. Social issue blogs. You name it, it will come up. And, for some reason, adoption is a topic that brings about comments from even those who have no idea what they are talking about... and you will learn sometimes to let their ignorant comments go... and you will learn how to properly argue the subject without resorting to name-calling. You will learn to educate, respectfully. You will learn how to let rude comments roll off your back. And you will learn when enough is enough and how to walk away. The latter moments will teach you, as you learn how to walk away and stand tall on the internet, how to do so in real life. You will be better for it.

And so, as with any group on the internet, learning is one of the best reasons to blog, or, at the very least, read and comment on other blogs. The things you can learn from others' experiences are too numerous to count. Get to learning today!

Tomorrow, I'll hit on another great "pro" of blogging as a birth parent!

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For more on bloggers and blogging, read these posts.




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