As if the constant talk of adoption isn't bad enough, blogging birth parents need to beware the trolls. I recently talked about personal attacks via blog comments but it needs mentioned again in this series.

Trolls exist on the internet. They thrive on drama, confrontation and the anonymity that the internet provides. Many of these rude individuals would never say the things that they type aloud but they're mean bullies on the web. (That said, some of the trolls would say those kinds of things to your face because they're just generally mean-spirited people. They'll even admit to having enough "courage" to say such things to your face if you try to call them out as a troll. At that point, realize that you're dealing with someone who is highly unstable. Walk away.)

Trolls love birth parents. And they come with all different backgrounds and intentions. I've seen adoptive parents who like to remind birth parents that they have our children, that we don't deserve them and we need to shut our mouths. I've seen adoptees who were angry with their own birth parents and were looking for someone to take it out on. I've seen other birth parents who didn't like the experience of another birth parent so they tried to make the other person feel bad for their experience. I've seen agencies, social workers and attorneys try to belittle birth parents or silence them when they don't like what they're saying. I've seen people who are untouched and uneducated by/on adoption lash out at birth parents for telling their stories.

It must be understood that trolls are different than those who have different experiences or opinions. Having a different experience or opinion and sharing it is acceptable and to be expected on the blogosphere. In fact, without those who are willing to share those experiences and opinions, we don't learn anything. However, when a commenter refuses to acknowledge that the blogger has that different experience or opinion and demands that the blogger accept their version of the truth, it starts to become a trolling experience. If the commenter then becomes vulgar or resorts to name-calling, it's most definitely a trolling experience.

Birth parents who blog need to be aware that those who have no intention to learn are out there, trolling birth parent blogs. They need to be reminded that, in their own blog space, they can and should delete comments from trolls. Comments that simply have a different opinion are one thing. But rude, unnecessary and trolling comments do not need to be saved.

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