I should probably start off this post by admitting that I'm not a fan of the concept of Birthmother's Day. But I'll save my disgruntled nature for tomorrow's post on the "cons" and save today for the positives that do exist in the day's existence.

First, some background. Birthmother's Day is celebrated the immediate Saturday before Mother's Day (meaning, the day before, not a week and a day before). Yes, that means that it is this coming Saturday. It was originally created in 1990 by a group of birth mothers in Seattle. It started as a day to celebrate birth motherhood as Mother's Day is a notoriously painful day for many first mothers.

And so, what are the pros in celebrating Birthmother's Day as opposed to Mother's Day?

1. Some agencies and other organizations hold Birthmother's Day celebrations. You can go and be a part of the event, knowing that those around you are going through the same mixture of emotions. There is often solace in knowing that you are not alone, especially when you can physically see and touch those who are experiencing the same things that you are at any given time.

2. It is a day set aside for you and your experience. While all birth mothers are unique and have just as unique experiences with relinquishment and post-placement life, there is a shared loss. An acknowledgment of that loss can bring birth mothers together.

3. It can be a day that you dedicate to yourself, your placed child or both. While Mother's Day may leave many birth mothers parenting other children torn in which direction to dedicate their thoughts and/or time, Birthmother's Day can be solely dedicated to the child placed for adoption if only in thought.

4. Birthmother's Day has begun to receive more attention over the past few years as mainstream media outlets have become aware of its existence. This has lead to more exposure, more events and more acceptance.

Okay, so, it's true. My list is short. Tomorrow's list may be wordier and longer but I do have my reasons. That said, I do acknowledge that some birth mothers really prefer to acknowledge this day as opposed to Mother's Day. There is no one right or wrong option. It simply doesn't fit my own story and experience. Maybe it does fit you and your experience. Please tell us why you have chosen to celebrate Birthmother's Day over Mother's Day. (Save the negativity for tomorrow! HA!)

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For more on holidays and birth parenting, read these posts.




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