Part one. For some birth mothers, it helps to spend the day with a close friend who understands and can provide some comfort on that day. Give each other manicures and pedicures, or try a spa or nail salon and pamper yourself. Spend some quiet time wandering around a museum, library or local public gardens. Try to figure out what will comfort you. It food works, hit the local chocolate store and treat yourself. Chocolate always works wonders for me.

If you need tears on that day, allow yourself the time and space to get your feelings out. Crying can sometimes be therapeutic. Maybe you need to be alone. Take off a day from work if you believe that will help. Consider setting a time limit for tears if that works for you. Cry all day if you need to, but know that when you are ready to stop that you can. Stiffling the tears probably will not help. If you want the reassurance of a therapist or counselor on that day, schedule an appointment on the day or prior to the birthday. Ask your therapist for advice on how to best get through the day.

Stock up on funny or escapist type movies and plant yourself in front of the television all day. Write a letter to your child. You may choose to give it to your child or not. If your child is young, you might want to wait until they are an adult. Get your feeling out though. It may or may not be appropriate to give such a letter to your child depending on its contents, but write it anyway.

Schedule to volunteer at a local shelter or similar facility on your child's birthday. Staying busy and serving others might help you feel better. It is your task to find out what is best for you on your child's birthday. Donate a sum of money to a local children's home or local charity in your child's honor. If you are religious, donate for church flowers to honor your child. Donating to charity makes most people feel good, and honoring your child in that way serves dual purposes. Pick out a special book to donate to your local library, maybe with a label to honor your child. Take cupcakes or other goodies to an nursing home or senior citizen center.

Whatever you decide will work best for you include some time to grieve and some time to celebrate. Both are important aspects of your child's birthday, and you will probably be better able to deal with the day if you include time to grieve and celebrate.

One mother's story about celebrating her son's birthday. For Jenna's take on celebrating birthdays, check out these posts.