Have you recently given birth and subsequently placed your child for adoption? Are you confused as to how you are feeling, both physically and emotionally? You are not alone! All women who have just birthed a child go through a phase of hormonal upheaval as levels of hormones attempt to regulate themselves back to their pre-pregnancy status. It is hard enough for a new mother to decide whether or not she is dealing with that normal fluctuation or postpartum depression (PPD). Birth mothers, of course, have the added difficulty of deciphering between normal fluctuation, postpartum depression and the grief and loss that is to be expected with relinquishing a child.

Today I thought I would give some tips about the normal fluctuation that is to be expected in the initial days and weeks immediately after birthing a baby. The good and simultaneously bad news is that 80% of women experience some kind of "Baby Blues." Good because you know that you are not alone. Bad, of course, because it's simply not fun.

Baby Blues symptoms look like this:

Feelings of sadness
Crying more than usual
Oversensitivity
Irritability
Feeling overwhelmed
Anxiety

It is important to note that the Baby Blues begin those first few days after birth but typically resolve in a few weeks. If your symptoms are lasting longer or are more severe (as I will talk about tomorrow), you may have graduated to postpartum depression.

Looking at this list, it isn't hard to imagine how Baby Blues and the normal grief and loss associated with relinquishment can be confused or dismissed as one or the other. Therefore it is important to remember that the hormonal fluctuations can be blamed for some of these symptoms while the grief and loss can possibly be held accountable for others. A great piece of advice would be to listen to your instinct: if you are feeling as if the symptoms are attached more to one thing than the other, you're probably right. This isn't always the case, of course, but we often know more about ourselves than we give credit!

Furthermore, even on day one of discussing these few topics, the necessity for unbiased counseling (as in, not provided by an agency interested in the placement of your child) is blatantly evident. Educating expectant mothers considering relinquishment on the hormonal changes their body will encounter post-delivery and the emotional aspect of relinquishment can better prepare these mothers to decipher and handle the situations. It is when these mothers are blindsided by the emotional aspects of birth and relinquishment that many make bad decisions or refuse to seek help, fearing that someone will tell them that it's their own fault. Agencies that offer more than the seemingly accepted four post-placement counseling appointments are to be commended.

Tomorrow we'll talk a bit more in depth about the difference of the Baby Blues and postpartum depression. The following day I'll throw in some of the typical symptoms associated with relinquishment grief. And then we'll talk about all of this together and what it means for new birth mothers.

If you have a story about the Baby Blues, postpartum depression or grief and loss associated with relinquishment, please comment or jot me off an e-mail to jennah at adoptionblogs dot com. Remember that others will come after us who will experience similar issues along these lines. By sharing, you are helping future birth mothers get through the difficult first year.

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For more on PPD, read these posts.



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