Comments on: Another Diss of Open Adoption in the News http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:02:45 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Marianne http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2194 Marianne Wed, 27 Dec 2006 19:29:35 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2194 Living in the Charlotte area, I have read quite a lot of this "dr's" articles in the Charlotte Observer. He always has the same smart alecky, know it all attitude. Would love to see you get a hold of him!! Living in the Charlotte area, I have read quite a lot of this “dr’s” articles in the Charlotte Observer. He always has the same smart alecky, know it all attitude. Would love to see you get a hold of him!!

]]> By: JudyK http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2193 JudyK Wed, 27 Dec 2006 15:21:37 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2193 Jenna, it's probably better that I have time to think about it and can respond calmly. One of my regrets, if you can call it that, is that because we did adopt internationally, we don't have contact with Nate's birthmother. This is all hindsight, of course, and after learning everything that I've learned from wonderful people like you. And I can hardly type this -- brings tears to my eyes because having that kind of relationship really would mean that we wouldn't be parents to Nate and . . . well . . . . I just CAN'T go there. You know. The thought of that really breaks my heart. <br /> <br /> So . . . it's something that I so understand the benefits of open adoption and I wish for our son that we had that for him, I still wish it for OUR NATE which is virtually impossible. You know? <br /> <br /> I don't know if I've ever actually verbalized this before. Being somewhere else must be like a truth serum. <br /> <br /> But the whole thing just makes me weep. It's NATE who's our son and I can't imagine being a mommy to any other child so this is sort of a fruitless conversation. <br /> <br /> If any of that makes any sense at all.<br /> <br /> *tear*<br /> Jenna, it’s probably better that I have time to think about it and can respond calmly. One of my regrets, if you can call it that, is that because we did adopt internationally, we don’t have contact with Nate’s birthmother. This is all hindsight, of course, and after learning everything that I’ve learned from wonderful people like you. And I can hardly type this — brings tears to my eyes because having that kind of relationship really would mean that we wouldn’t be parents to Nate and . . . well . . . . I just CAN’T go there. You know. The thought of that really breaks my heart.

So . . . it’s something that I so understand the benefits of open adoption and I wish for our son that we had that for him, I still wish it for OUR NATE which is virtually impossible. You know?

I don’t know if I’ve ever actually verbalized this before. Being somewhere else must be like a truth serum.

But the whole thing just makes me weep. It’s NATE who’s our son and I can’t imagine being a mommy to any other child so this is sort of a fruitless conversation.

If any of that makes any sense at all.

*tear*

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2192 Jenna Hatfield Wed, 27 Dec 2006 14:40:00 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2192 thomasina; It is true that we place a lot of importance on titles such as "doctor." I think, in cases such as this, it is good for us to remember that there are good doctors, mediocre doctors and doctors who only graduated so their professors could be rid of them. ;) (Or, worse yet, doctors with no bed-side manner.)<br /> <br /> Sandra; Sounds like a real winner. Sigh. thomasina; It is true that we place a lot of importance on titles such as “doctor.” I think, in cases such as this, it is good for us to remember that there are good doctors, mediocre doctors and doctors who only graduated so their professors could be rid of them. ;) (Or, worse yet, doctors with no bed-side manner.)

Sandra; Sounds like a real winner. Sigh.

]]> By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2191 Sandra Hanks Benoiton Wed, 27 Dec 2006 12:45:13 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2191 FYI:<br /> <br /> Parenting By The Book <br /> John Rosemond, M.S., developed Parenting by THE BOOK™ to be a comprehensive Christian education seminar course to equip parents with powerfully effective child-rearing skills. The seminar materials, methods, and recommendations are based on quintessential Scriptural principles, Bible scripture, supportive scientific research and common sense. As such, Parenting by THE BOOK™ is intended for delivery through churches, church-supported schools and other Christian organizations.<br /> <br /> The Mission <br /> To inspire and empower parents to raise well-mannered and well-behaved children of competence and character, children whose decisions are consistent with the fundamental precepts of Judeo-Christian (Scriptural) morality.<br /> <br /> Background <br /> In March 2001, Amazon.com listed 10,450 titles under "Parenting." With rare exceptions, these do not reflect a traditional, Biblically-consistent perspective; in fact, most reflect a secular, post-modern child-rearing philosophy that is fundamentally hostile to a Scriptural point-of-view. In 2000, psychologist John Rosemond began developing a parenting curriculum that would fill the need that exists for practical information and methods that are effective, inspiring, and validated both by Scripture and quality scientific research. FYI:

Parenting By The Book
John Rosemond, M.S., developed Parenting by THE BOOK™ to be a comprehensive Christian education seminar course to equip parents with powerfully effective child-rearing skills. The seminar materials, methods, and recommendations are based on quintessential Scriptural principles, Bible scripture, supportive scientific research and common sense. As such, Parenting by THE BOOK™ is intended for delivery through churches, church-supported schools and other Christian organizations.

The Mission
To inspire and empower parents to raise well-mannered and well-behaved children of competence and character, children whose decisions are consistent with the fundamental precepts of Judeo-Christian (Scriptural) morality.

Background
In March 2001, Amazon.com listed 10,450 titles under “Parenting.” With rare exceptions, these do not reflect a traditional, Biblically-consistent perspective; in fact, most reflect a secular, post-modern child-rearing philosophy that is fundamentally hostile to a Scriptural point-of-view. In 2000, psychologist John Rosemond began developing a parenting curriculum that would fill the need that exists for practical information and methods that are effective, inspiring, and validated both by Scripture and quality scientific research.

]]> By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2190 Sandra Hanks Benoiton Wed, 27 Dec 2006 12:42:57 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2190 This guy is always putting out rubbish like this to get attention. He has books to sell and columns to get readers to come to. I prefer to ignore him. Writing to him is just fodder for more of the same, as he takes what he hears and uses it for spin purposes. This guy is always putting out rubbish like this to get attention. He has books to sell and columns to get readers to come to. I prefer to ignore him. Writing to him is just fodder for more of the same, as he takes what he hears and uses it for spin purposes.

]]> By: thomasina http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2189 thomasina Wed, 27 Dec 2006 04:29:57 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2189 The expectation of someone with a doctorate is that on the way to becoming a "doctor" (quotations again) he/she has learned to conduct valid research and to interpret the research of others. That's one reason why we lend so much credibility to the statements of credentialed people. We figure they know how to do their homework; they've done it and they know what they are talking about. Dr. Rosemond has not honored that trust, indeed there is no reference to the findings of scholarly research on open vs. closed adoption; only his person opinions which are based on his own background (pardon the postmodernist leanings) and his limited experience. Those of us in academia would never consider the experience of one person to constitute a scientific study. Unfortunately, because he has a doctorate in "child psychology" and because he has hung his shingle out as a consultant on a fancy website and writes a news column, the general public will think him credible and may buy in to what he says. It is maddening. The expectation of someone with a doctorate is that on the way to becoming a “doctor” (quotations again) he/she has learned to conduct valid research and to interpret the research of others. That’s one reason why we lend so much credibility to the statements of credentialed people. We figure they know how to do their homework; they’ve done it and they know what they are talking about. Dr. Rosemond has not honored that trust, indeed there is no reference to the findings of scholarly research on open vs. closed adoption; only his person opinions which are based on his own background (pardon the postmodernist leanings) and his limited experience. Those of us in academia would never consider the experience of one person to constitute a scientific study. Unfortunately, because he has a doctorate in “child psychology” and because he has hung his shingle out as a consultant on a fancy website and writes a news column, the general public will think him credible and may buy in to what he says. It is maddening.

]]> By: Jan Baker http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2187 Jan Baker Wed, 27 Dec 2006 02:51:43 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2187 Rosamond seems to tackle adoption issues every so often, but seems to have NO understanding of adoption. His age isn't his problem, I think it is more his religious leanings. Rosamond seems to tackle adoption issues every so often, but seems to have NO understanding of adoption. His age isn’t his problem, I think it is more his religious leanings.

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2188 Jenna Hatfield Wed, 27 Dec 2006 02:43:52 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2188 I don't know, Jan. My religious leanings are of the strong Christian type... but I'm not a "complete moron."<br /> <br /> LOL.<br /> <br /> I can't stop using "quotations." <br /> <br /> Whatever the case, you're dead on: he has no understanding of adoption.<br /> <br /> Judy; please e-mail. Be a legitimate, thoughtful and well-spoken adoptive Mom who does understand openness. You know I love you. I don’t know, Jan. My religious leanings are of the strong Christian type… but I’m not a “complete moron.”

LOL.

I can’t stop using “quotations.”

Whatever the case, you’re dead on: he has no understanding of adoption.

Judy; please e-mail. Be a legitimate, thoughtful and well-spoken adoptive Mom who does understand openness. You know I love you.

]]> By: JudyK http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new/comment-page-1#comment-2186 JudyK Tue, 26 Dec 2006 23:58:15 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2006/12/26/another-diss-of-open-adoption-in-the-new#comment-2186 Oh my. This is very very bad. <br /> <br /> I have a limited amount of time online as I'm at my sister's house right now and am leaving tomorrow a.m. for my little vaca with the husband; I'll have to remember to email this yahoo, for whatever amount of good it will do. Probably none. *sigh* <br /> <br /> Hard to believe he's a "family psychologist." Sheesh. >:(. And I really am disheartened by the person that he's quoting; as you know, not all of us adoptive mothers think that way. NOT AT ALL!!! GAH!!! Oh my. This is very very bad.

I have a limited amount of time online as I’m at my sister’s house right now and am leaving tomorrow a.m. for my little vaca with the husband; I’ll have to remember to email this yahoo, for whatever amount of good it will do. Probably none. *sigh*

Hard to believe he’s a “family psychologist.” Sheesh. >:(. And I really am disheartened by the person that he’s quoting; as you know, not all of us adoptive mothers think that way. NOT AT ALL!!! GAH!!!

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