Apparently it's one of those weeks when adoption is high on my radar. My feed reader and inbox seem to be filled with adoption related material. Unfortunately all of this material seems to be rubbing me the wrong way. As if we needed more proof that the general public doesn't understand adoption from any angle, comments from a celebrity and a parenting blogger just drove it home a little more for me this morning.

I normally don't have a problem with celebrities adopting. Or, maybe I should clarify. I don't have a problem with celebrities adopting as long as they have educated themselves and aren't spouting silly or wrong adoption facts to the paparazzi that hound them on a daily basis. Because the general public gets their news from these media sources and when those reporters are fed inaccuracies so is your average reader.

And so, today's little news bit.

It's been in the rumor mill that Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay singer husband Chris Martin have been considering adoption. I tend to stay away from rumor mill gossip until either the child is adopted or the star steps out on a limb and says something about the rumors. Unfortunately the latter came true as Paltrow had something to say about adoption. Commence with the rubbing in the wrong direction.

"We might get one from Brooklyn. No baby is more helpless than another baby. And I'm a New York Girl."

So many things with that statement smack of either a total lack of education or a total misstatement on her part. (Believe me, I've said things that sound completely off the mark from what I'm trying to say!) I'd love to give her the benefit of the doubt as I think Paltrow is a rather classy lady. I'll reserve my super scathing remarks in case she says something super ridiculous again.

But it gets better. A blogger that covered the piece rubbed me the wrong way as well. With a brillo pad.

But then again, I'm biased--I think the best of pretty much everything can be found in Brooklyn, and that includes babies!

Sigh.

Children are not something to be found. Children are not objects. Adoption is not about finding babies for parents. It is about finding parents for babies. And, even then, it should only be done if the original family absolutely cannot parent. It really, really bugs me that our children, our adoptees are continually spoken of as objects to be given and received. I find it frustrating and disheartening.

I can only hope that Paltrow and Martin will go about adoption in the most educated and ethical way possible. If they do adopt, I can only hope that child will be loved unconditionally as any birth mother would hope for her own child, placed or parented. I can only hope that others will understand that children are not commodities to be handed to and fro. I can only hope that as other families (adoptive and birth) speak out about who they are and who their children are that the general public will gain an understanding of what is an is not true about adoption itself.

(I won't even get started on the comments about a "better" life. Sigh.)

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For more on celebrities and adoption, read these posts.


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