Comments on: All Mothers are Clueless http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless A blog for and about parents who have placed a child for adoption. Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:23:05 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2091 Jenna Hatfield Sun, 29 Jul 2007 19:43:09 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2091 Judy; You've just inspired thought for another post. ;) Judy; You’ve just inspired thought for another post. ;)

]]> By: AdoptionBlogs Editor http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2090 AdoptionBlogs Editor Sat, 28 Jul 2007 21:24:23 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2090 You're absolutely right, Judy!<br /> It all goes out the window! You’re absolutely right, Judy!
It all goes out the window!

]]> By: JudyK http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2089 JudyK Sat, 28 Jul 2007 18:15:44 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2089 The moms who make me laugh are the ones who pre-parenthood are never going to feed their children sugar, never going to let them watch TV, never going to do this, that, or the other thing. If they can hold up those lofty standards when they're actually moms, more power to them, but I say that a lot of that goes out the window when you're actually parenting a child and reality is staring you in the face. <br /> <br /> You <strong>just. never. know.</strong> until you do it. You just never do know. The moms who make me laugh are the ones who pre-parenthood are never going to feed their children sugar, never going to let them watch TV, never going to do this, that, or the other thing. If they can hold up those lofty standards when they’re actually moms, more power to them, but I say that a lot of that goes out the window when you’re actually parenting a child and reality is staring you in the face.

You just. never. know. until you do it. You just never do know.

]]> By: Abby http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2088 Abby Sat, 28 Jul 2007 02:32:11 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2088 Jenna, <br /> It is so true that we all are trying to figure out this parenting gig. Just when you think you have it down bamm...you child proves that you are far from having it down. <br /> <br /> I think the fear to some point goes through motherhood. I am always thinking did I make the right choice, say the right thing, is that decision right for my child on and on.<br /> <br /> Abby Jenna,
It is so true that we all are trying to figure out this parenting gig. Just when you think you have it down bamm…you child proves that you are far from having it down.

I think the fear to some point goes through motherhood. I am always thinking did I make the right choice, say the right thing, is that decision right for my child on and on.

Abby

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2087 Jenna Hatfield Fri, 27 Jul 2007 18:06:19 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2087 Sue; I bet my Mom would have to agree with you about your whole statement there. I was born a week and two days after my Mother turned 19 (my Dad was 21). She also had a hectic pregnancy because she was yet unwed (engaged) when they first got pregnant and comes from a very religious (preacher's kid) family. Even when my brother came along eight years later, she still spoke of being somewhat fearful as to how to do everything right. She admits to doing some things wrong while we were growing up and, despite my own shortcomings, I think we turned out rather well. ;) Sue; I bet my Mom would have to agree with you about your whole statement there. I was born a week and two days after my Mother turned 19 (my Dad was 21). She also had a hectic pregnancy because she was yet unwed (engaged) when they first got pregnant and comes from a very religious (preacher’s kid) family. Even when my brother came along eight years later, she still spoke of being somewhat fearful as to how to do everything right. She admits to doing some things wrong while we were growing up and, despite my own shortcomings, I think we turned out rather well. ;)

]]> By: Sunbonnet Sue http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2086 Sunbonnet Sue Fri, 27 Jul 2007 17:27:19 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2086 Jenna, this is so true. My oldest daughter was born two days before my 19th birthday. I can remember worrying that maybe I wouldn't love her, because I was so ambivilent during the pregnancy. It took a few weeks after she was born to really feel that the stirrings of a strong maternal bond. A few weeks more, and I would have laid down my life for her. She is an awesome young woman herself now, having survived, and even thrived, in spite of my parenting. Jenna, this is so true. My oldest daughter was born two days before my 19th birthday. I can remember worrying that maybe I wouldn’t love her, because I was so ambivilent during the pregnancy. It took a few weeks after she was born to really feel that the stirrings of a strong maternal bond. A few weeks more, and I would have laid down my life for her. She is an awesome young woman herself now, having survived, and even thrived, in spite of my parenting.

]]> By: AdoptionBlogs Editor http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2085 AdoptionBlogs Editor Fri, 27 Jul 2007 15:19:02 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2085 How is it that so many people know this and yet so few new mothers are told? Thank you for another wonderful blog, Jenna. <br /> <br /> As I sit here watching my toddler eat Slim Jims, string cheese and strawberries for breakfast, all I can say is THIS IS SO TRUE!<br /> <br /> (There is no book that recommends Slim Jims for breakfast but when it is the only protein they'll eat, well, you do what you gotta do! LOL) How is it that so many people know this and yet so few new mothers are told? Thank you for another wonderful blog, Jenna.

As I sit here watching my toddler eat Slim Jims, string cheese and strawberries for breakfast, all I can say is THIS IS SO TRUE!

(There is no book that recommends Slim Jims for breakfast but when it is the only protein they’ll eat, well, you do what you gotta do! LOL)

]]> By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2084 Sandra Hanks Benoiton Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:50:07 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2084 And you just made me teary! <br /> <br /> Say "Cheese"! Of course, your family is so danged gorgeous that y'all just need to stand there and let them snap away. And you just made me teary!

Say “Cheese”! Of course, your family is so danged gorgeous that y’all just need to stand there and let them snap away.

]]> By: Jenna Hatfield http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2079 Jenna Hatfield Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:31:04 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2079 Sandra; you just made me grin and get teary eyed all at the same time. I thank you for sharing that... and I am very, very glad that you somehow learned that it was okay for you to be clueless. I also really, really like your words at the end. "No one owns the manual until they write it themselves." Sandra, you just made my whole day. (And it's family picture day, so I need a reason to smile!!) Sandra; you just made me grin and get teary eyed all at the same time. I thank you for sharing that… and I am very, very glad that you somehow learned that it was okay for you to be clueless. I also really, really like your words at the end. “No one owns the manual until they write it themselves.” Sandra, you just made my whole day. (And it’s family picture day, so I need a reason to smile!!)

]]> By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton http://birthparents.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/all-mothers-are-clueless/comment-page-1#comment-2083 Sandra Hanks Benoiton Fri, 27 Jul 2007 14:26:18 +0000 http://birth-first.www.adoptionblogs.com/2007/07/27/all-mothers-are-clueless#comment-2083 When my first child was born right around my 18th birthday, the first thing I did after counting her fingers, toes and nose was to hold her up eye-to-eye with me and explain very carefully that I had NO IDEA what I was doing, that I'd be faking the mother thing for a while until I caught on, and I apologized in advance for any screw-ups that might happen.<br /> <br /> Your post makes me realize how much the fact that I had somehow learned that it was okay for me to be clueless had to do with allowing me to decide to parent my child against the wishes of all other interested parties.<br /> <br /> Passing along the info that no one owns the manual until they write it themselves is a very good plan. When my first child was born right around my 18th birthday, the first thing I did after counting her fingers, toes and nose was to hold her up eye-to-eye with me and explain very carefully that I had NO IDEA what I was doing, that I’d be faking the mother thing for a while until I caught on, and I apologized in advance for any screw-ups that might happen.

Your post makes me realize how much the fact that I had somehow learned that it was okay for me to be clueless had to do with allowing me to decide to parent my child against the wishes of all other interested parties.

Passing along the info that no one owns the manual until they write it themselves is a very good plan.

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