Everyone has an opinion on Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy. I do. You do. Even if you say you don't, choosing not to have an opinion is actually an opinion. Some people are shocked to the idea that, gasp, sixteen year old girls can get pregnant. Some people are angry that a girl that was (previously) a role model for teens and tweens got herself in this pickle. Some people are praising her for her "pro-life decision." Ironically, people in that same grouping are taking a different view and chastising her for getting pregnant in the first place.

I've talked about it briefly. I thought I was done talking about it. Then I had to go ahead and read this during my morning coffee routine. What a way to start my day. I mean, I love nothing more than the uneducated glorification of adoption before I've fully digested even one cup of steamy hot caffeine-laden goodness!

The blog-article was fine for awhile. It's fine to question how Spears' pregnancy will have an effect on her young fans. She is a role model for young girls. Asking those questions is not only intelligent but most likely necessary. (Though I've previously linked to a blog that covered this discussion!) That was all fine and dandy. But then I got to this paragraph.

I am torn about this because I feel like by being a role model to thousands of young girls, it is kind of her duty to address it with them. Part of me thinks she should place the baby for adoption. After all, there are plenty of couples out there who can also provide for a baby and give it a good life. Then, part of me thinks she is acting as a role model by taking responsibility and keeping the baby. That does not mean that I believe people who place their babies for adoption are not being responsible. In fact, I believe it's quite the contrary--it takes a courageous, strong person to give their baby up for adoption. It's the ultimate act of love.

I mean, I knew it was coming. I've felt an adoption push lurking in the shadows since Spears announced her pregnancy. I've been waiting for someone to use this as a way to drive it home. No, not the fact that sixteen year olds are awful young to take on such responsibility but that there are "plenty of couples" available to raise these children. While this particular author didn't start a smear campaign against the mothers that choose to place, the whole line of "the ultimate act of love" is gag-worthy.

Not that I don't love my placed daughter. Not that the birth mothers I know and regularly converse with don't love their placed children. We do. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. But it's tiring and not always true to be constantly painted as the courageous, strong person. And yes, some chose to place out of love. Many others were coerced or lead to believe that what they had to offer was not enough and would never be enough.

Of course, the author addressed the past wrongs in the adoption industry.

Society has come a long way. There was a time in this country when if you got pregnant and you were a teenager, your family sent you away and forced you to give the child up for adoption. There was no discussion...do not pass go, do not collect $200...you were sent to the home for unwed girls and came home to resume your life as if it never happened. That is what happened to my mom, and thousands like her during the 50s & 60s.

And so, I'm lead to believe by the vague reference that this woman's mother was a birth mother from that era. I do not know, however, whether or not the author is the placed child or a child raised after placement. Even still, the author neglects to address the fact that while there are options for today's unplanned pregnancies and often discussions between family members, the unethical standards employed by many of the adoption agencies don't offer mothers who contact said agencies a real and informed choice.

Yes, changes and advances have been made. But can you imagine the drama if Spears chose to place her child? Sit back and think about it for a little bit. While there are some people calling her some unsavory names now, just think what people would say about her if she chose to place her child. I mean, there are those that will tell anyone with a pair of ears and eyes that all birth parents, regardless of circumstance, are not worth their weight in gold. They are all dysfunctional, useless human beings who do not deserve any form of respect. And there would be those in this country (and others) who would treat her the same way that I have been treated, regardless of her fame.

There are no easy answers when a woman experiences an unplanned pregnancy. I think, even more so for Spears, she's got a full plate of decisions coupled with the scrutiny of the public. Sixteen year olds get pregnant all the time, they're just not usually dinner table discussion for the majority of the country. She is a teen who got pregnant and she's dealing with the consequences of those actions. She is choosing to parent, which is her right, no matter what Joe Blow says over the water cooler at work. If she was choosing to place, she'd have a whole separate group of dissenters.

As I said before, we can only hope that her pregnancy is uneventful so that she can focus on getting all of her ducks in a row. Children, placed or parented, change everything. Here's hoping it's a positive change for the entire family.

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For more, read:

1. Celbrities, Unplanned Pregnancies and This Birth Mother.

2. My Heart Can Empathize.

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