I wrote a post earlier in the month about an adoption themed confession on the site True Mom Confessions. I was so intrigued by that post that I've decided to do a week of posts about adoption related confessions on the site. There are, surprisingly or not, a lot of confessions about adoption on True Mom Confessions.

And why is that?

What's the point of the site anyway? From their about page:

Finally, a place where women could confess their fears, frailties and fantasies (or their own throw up stories) without any risk of judgment or consequence.

So what has made this site a "go to" place for adoption related confessions? Is it that place to confess those fears without risk of judgment? (Though, the ability to comment is now available should the original poster check a box.) Without consequence? Are there certain things we are not willing to tell our relinquished child? Our child's parents? Our spouses? Our parented children? Our parents? Our friends? Our blogging friends?

I think, from reading through these entries, that the answer is a resounding, "YES!" And that frustrates me. Wait. I'm not judging these mothers for not feeling okay with sharing their confessions with the party that is actually involved.

Instead, I'm frustrated with the secrecy that still permeates adoption. Women don't want to share about their relinquishment for fear of being judged as heartless, cruel or any myriad of negative stereotypes. Adoptive mothers don't want to tell their pregnant friends, to their faces, that they're jealous. Adoptees don't want to upset either mother by saying what they really feel. And why? Why, oh why, do we have to be so darn secretive when it comes to adoption? That's the very reason behind failed open adoptions, failed reunions and adoptees who are angry with family members, adoptive and biological, who won't share information that they have requested or needed. Secrecy!

But, I still read the site, pleased that in some way these women are sharing their stories. It must provide some peace or the site wouldn't be such a hit. Over the next week I'll bring you some pretty heavy secrets with full on commentary! Hurrah!


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