I've been seeing some posts on the forums that concern me. Adoptees have been asking why their birth parents are refusing reunion contact. And, trust me, I'm not really concerned about the birth parents in these scenarios.

Don't get me wrong. I get that everyone has their reasons. I get the fact that many mothers (and fathers) from the closed era were told to just forget about the children that they relinquished for adoption. I get that many of these same birth parents never told their subsequent children or spouses about the child that they relinquished.

But I'm failing to see how any of this is the adoptee's fault. And I'm failing to understand how punishing the adoptee... more

I proved to myself and the world that I am not a writer for One Tree Hill last night. They didn't unroll more about the second adoption storyline. Well, they did in a way but not in the way I had thought (or, maybe, hoped). The episode did feature the storyline, in general, in great detail. I should explain!

Brooke, the character who foster-slash-sponsored a baby last season, has been having a rough season. She was attacked, her business was robbed and she eventually signed... more

I talked about the adoption storyline in the show One Tree Hill last season. Brooke's character sponsored a baby who needed heart surgery. I feared some big dramatic storyline in which she unethically adopted the baby but they didn't take it that route. Then the season ended and I thought that was the last of the adoption storyline.

Not so! Seems as though the writers of One Tree Hill have realized the surge in adoption talk on the internet and in the news... more

I was searching through True Mom Confessions for adoption related ones (as usual) when I came across the one below. I'm going to warn you now that I will be very opinionated on this post. I will not apologize for it but I will offer the warning to get out now.

i have a friend whos quite a bit older then i am. She's a great friend, but she's never been married and only ever had 1 child, and she gave that child up... more

I've been struck by loss this Halloween season. More so than in years past. Why? I'm assuming it is because I am now the everyday parent to two children and their costumes have a theme. The previous two years of Halloween didn't strike me as much as there wasn't really a theme, just a solitary costume decision. This year, of course, is different and I am so very aware of what is missing in our theme.

My boys are dressing as Sebastian and Flounder from The Little Mermaid. The choice behind these costumes is pure chance. I happened to remember the Sebastian... more

Marie wrote about how the death of her own mother has been affecting her children. It has caused some regression in their behaviors because, as she said, loss is another trauma. I've been experiencing that in my own journey over the past month and a half. My grandfather passed away in mid-September. While it wasn't a huge surprise as he had been declining in his health for quite some time and had been in the hospital for a few weeks, it was still a blow to me and to my family. To boot,... more

I was involved in a non-adoption conversation online. The question was simple: how do you know when a person is just a friend or an acquaintance? My answer, though related to adoption, mentioned nothing of adoption. I said: If I mention my daughter and they balk, they are no friend of mine.

Another person replied with: People actually do that? I responded with: My daughter was placed for adoption, so, yes, there is some balking involved. Her reply? Nothing. Not a word.

Which is a balk in itself and therefore proved... more

A very interesting question was posed on the Communication Between Birth and Adoptive Parents forum. The subject wasn't really clear as it simply read, like mine does here, "Your biggest obstacle." To what? Parenting? Adopting? Getting through the living room strewn with toys? But the first post went into detail as to what the question was really about:

What has been the biggest obstacle you've had to overcome in your... more

There was one blatant adoption reference in this week's Secrets (over at Post Secret) and one subtle, probably-not-adoption-related but I-viewed-it-as-such-anyway kind of secret. We'll start with the not-so-subtle one first. It read:

I play the Lotto so I can afford to adopt a child.

While I was pregnant... more

An adoptive parent started a very interesting thread on the General Adoptive Parents forum. The subject read: Has adopting made you stronger, better or more tolerant? After reading through a few of their well-thought-out answers, I spun it for the Birthparent Support forum: Has placing made you stronger, better or more tolerant? While one person completely misunderstood the intent of the post, we continued... more