I've been talking over the past two days about wills and things birth parents might want to consider with regard to their relinquished child(ren). I gave my personal reasons for including my placed daughter in my will and as a beneficiary on my life insurance. To wrap this discussion up, I thought I might give some ideas of things that could be passed on to your placed... more

Yesterday I gave some advice to all birth parents regarding relinquished children and inheritance laws. Basically, if you missed the post (go read!), whether or not you want your relinquished child to have access to an inheritance, you need to specifically state your desires in your will. I am now going to share my personal reasoning for including my placed daughter in both my will and as a beneficiary in my life insurance policy.

Disclaimer: These are personal... more

Apparently American agencies, social workers and attorneys are not the only ones who are stomping all over father's rights. In this story out of New Zealand, we can see how the unethical practices of adoption aren't unique to our country. The problem is world wide and, really, that's scary.

However, the silver lining to this story is two-fold: the child was returned to his father after he started a legal battle and the attorney who advised the mother... more

Not too many people like to spend an awful lot of time about thinking about what happens to their possessions should they pass, parents of all types should put some time and effort into making sure their wills are always up-to-date. Right now, of course, I'm going to talk about birth parents. Even more specifically, I'm talking to birth parents who want to make sure that their relinquished children inherit something upon their death.

The laws vary from state to state and that is why it is important for each first parent to know the laws that govern their... more

A first mother on a private adoption discussion recently posed a real-life question. I won't give specifics as to protect her situation from public opinion. However, in the most vague of terms, the birth mother found out some not-so-great information about her relinquished child's biological father. She didn't know what to do with it, whether or not she had a duty to tell the adoptive parents and how, if at all, involved she should become.

My advice? I told her to give the adoptive parents the information and let them do with it as they would as they were... more

I read the sentence in my subject line in a this brief article that applauds New Jersey and their recent approval of a bill that allows adult adoptees to retain their Original Birth Certificates (OBC). I found myself nodding, feeling empathy for the many adoptees who are stifled and silenced by law makers and people in the general public who don't often understand the process of adoption nor the emotions involved.

It's made obvious that people don't understand... more

You think you've seen it all. And then this news story out of Germany makes you scratch your head and wonder.

A man in Germany received a two and a half year sentence after fathering four children with his sister. What's that have to do with adoption? Well, that's where the strange part comes in just in case that tidbit wasn't strange enough for you.

The man was relinquished for adoption when he was four. He met his birth mother (again) when... more

I recently talked about how birth parent grief is not all that scary. Tears are normal. Sadness is to be expected and should be respected. In fact the "stages" of grief include room for a wide range of normal. (I say "stages" because I don't believe we go through one step, complete it and follow in form and function to the next.) Briefly, the stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You can see how even anger is therefore well within the realm... more

Wow, the weeks are just flying by anymore. It's Thursday again. Time for another list of thirteen things that apply to adoption as I know it. Last week I wrote a list of thirteen things I want for my relinquished daughter. However, like any parent, there are things that I don't want for my daughter, too! Read through these and see how your wishes for things your child to avoid differ from my own. If at all.

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Rape is not an easy subject for me to write about on any level. No woman should ever have to go through the dehumanizing, demoralizing and destructive act of rape. The truth is that some women do. And this article out of Maryland is interesting in many ways.

First off, I was not aware that fathers who conceive children via rape (in Maryland) retain parental rights. You read that right. They can appeal for rights to visitation. They can fight for custody. My stomach... more