Sometimes adoption sneaks into my everyday life and slaps me in the face. I just happened to lean over my Husband's shoulder to get a glimpse at the engagements in yesterday's local newspaper. We don't subscribe to the newspaper, mind you. My Husband purchased it just to have the big fire article on the front as a keepsake. Imagine my surprise when I saw this headline, all big and bold on the page I was just merely glimpsing at:

Honoring two moms: Bride fashions a new gown from those worn by her adoptive, birth mothers

He... more

I've decided to start participating in the Thursday Thirteen meme here on the Birth/First Parent blog. I've been looking for a way to share general tips with my readers about birth parenting, adoption, reunion, reform and adoption in general but struggling to find a format. Enter the Thursday Thirteen meme! Each Thursday I will share thirteen tips with you on a certain subject that pertains to birth parents. While I may try to take a generally positive spin on things, as is my personality, some negative will slip in as well.... more

I talk (a lot!) about ethics in adoption. It's no secret that there is a need for reform in that specific area. However, on a more personal level, birth parents should also be concerned with their own ethical actions concerning the adoption. I'm not talking about pre-placement stuff here. I'm talking about the ins and outs of how you carry yourself, act and react and communicated within your situation. This can be how you communicate with your child in reunion, how you update your medical file in a closed adoption or how you participate in the sharing of communication... more

I don't know why my jaw continues to drop. Perhaps it's because I really, really want to believe that we're making the necessary strides in reform efforts. Perhaps I want to believe that the general public is really "getting it." However, they're not. (And movies like Juno don't help any. No, really.) But I'm continuously flabbergasted by how corrupt the current adoption system is and the lengths they continue to go to in order to attain healthy babies.

A post... more

Texas. The Lone Star State. It's pretty big. It's got random weather and elevations. Their motto is "friendship" and the state's name itself is derived from an Indian word meaning the same thing. But are they post-adoption contact agreement friendly?

Let's see.

What may be included in postadoption contact agreements? Citation: Fam. Code §§ 161.2061; 161.2062 An order terminating the parent-child relationship may include terms that allow the biological parent to:

* Receive specified information... more

I'm hoping that today means something to you. More than just a day off from work. More than an annoyance that the Post Office is closed. More than just any other Monday if, like me, government holidays mean little to your schedule of events. I'm hoping that you stopped and thought about Martin Luther King, Jr's dream, if only for a few moments.

As a birth mother to a biracial daughter in a fully open adoption, I do more than think about his dream for just a few moments today. I'm forced to consider the realities of that dream every time someone new enters... more

You can read two great write-ups of the hearing regarding HB7, the bill written to open adoption records for all adoptees in the state of Ohio as well as make open adoptions legally binding. In Dawn's post, we see that a representative "rolled his eyes" during an adoptees testimony about the bill being a civil rights issue. I wondered, "What kind of adult, representing any kind of constituent, would roll... more

I still haven't seen it. That's not surprising considering I have two children, aged two and under, a huge pile of laundry and a ton of work to get done. When you add in the fact that I don't normally hit the theaters for movies as I would rather sit on my couch and talk at will while watching movies, well, it's just really the opposite of surprising. However, others around the blogosphere have seen it including those who are touched by adoption in various ways.

And what are they saying? Obviously, each person is having their own personal experience. Reviews are... more

I like Tennessee. I like country music. While I haven't been to Nashville (though I do plan on it in the next five years as a getaway with the Husband), I've traveled through various parts of the state. It's pretty nice looking and the folks we encountered were nice. I am amused, however, that their state bird is a Mockingbird. It makes me want to sing. (Mock. MOCK!) Anyway, since I like the state so much, I was hopeful about their laws regarding post-adoption contact agreements.

They didn't necessarily let me down. But they didn't lift me up either. Or,... more

As birth parents, we all have varying experiences. While some differences are because of generational changes, even those who placed in the same eras have differences due to any number of reasons. Those who placed in the Baby Scoop Era have different stories to tell than those who have placed in the past ten years as will each mother within each generation. And yet, there are similarities as well. Similarities from mother to mother, father to father and generation to generation.

And that's what this... more