Internet Safety During the Waiting Period

December 30th, 2009
Categories: Search

ComputersSo you've followed my advice. You're making an Internet footprint. You're posting on forums while maintaining your own website. You own your information and you can change, remove or add any of it at any given time. You're feeling good about how available you are making your information, on your own terms, and feel as though you are making it easier for yourself to be found by your relinquished child. And predators! It simply stinks that we even have to discuss this but we do. By putting your information, any of it, on the web, you are making yourself an easier target for online predators. That said, any of us who post anything on the web and interact with others are potential… [more]

Owning Your Internet Footprint

December 29th, 2009
Categories: Search

ComputersI've discussed how important it is for birth parents to have an Internet footprint. If you're interested in search and reunion, it would definitely behoove you to be easily found via a simple Google search. Anyone with even basic knowledge of the Internet should understand how that could be of great benefit. However, there are some things that you likely don't know about your Internet presence. It is important for you to own your information online. What does that mean? It's simple and complicated at the same time. When birth parents or adoptees are first searching, they often join every last forum, list serv and Yahoo! group to share their story and personal information. They post information like their birth date, their… [more]

Making Your Internet Footprint

December 26th, 2009
Categories: Search

ComputersI was discussing the topic of search, reunion and technology with another birth parent who also happens to be an adoptee. We discussed the likes of the show Find My Family and the implications of how difficult it is for the average, everyday, non-private-investigator to search for family members. As we talked, the discussion came up that one of her family members simply didn't "exist" online. That boggles my mind. I know it happens. I've tried to locate a few people from my yesteryears only to find that they simply do not have any available Internet footprint. Perhaps they're using pseudonyms. Perhaps they live in the areas of our country that still don't have easy access to the Internet. Maybe they can't afford it… [more]

Very Sad News Out of Utah

February 20th, 2008
Categories: Articles, Reunion, Search

This article makes me want to look up every adoptee and every birth parent in the state of Utah and offer big hugs. Granted, not every adoptee and birth parent would want my hugs but they could have them if they wanted. And that's the point. If they don't want a hug, then they can decline. If they do, then we both win via hugging. Right? Utah doesn't seem to get the idea of the ability to decline hugs. Or, ya know, reunion contact. A bill that would let adoptees find out the information about their birth families was shot down. Now, mind you, this is one of the most conservative bills I've seen as it doesn't allow adoptees to get that information until thirty years… [more]

Wrong Reasons

February 4th, 2008

I recently came across a blog that hit on the "wrong reasons" to adopt a child. It got me pondering about the many "wrong reasons" for various things in the birth parent realm of action. I don't see comprehensive lists like those anywhere, so let's consider. What are the wrong reasons to place your child? What are some wrong reasons for actions within an open adoption relationship? And what are some wrong reasons for actions when you consider search and reunion? First and foremost, you should never relinquish your child just because someone in your family thinks or says that you should. Many of my birth mother sisters from the closed era were forced to do so by their own families. That's not the way it needs to… [more]