The Treasure

September 23rd, 2011

#C513480951108#P745061951108#F8#How do you explain in words something you treasure or covet? Like the pair of sweats that you have had for way too many years but never want to part from, the handkerchief that was once your Grandma’s that sits in a drawer. What about treasures of your children’s? You would think they would be simple items like their ‘best’ drawing ‘ever’ that they chose to save, their best Lego guy or their first blanket. You can sum them all up as irreplaceable to the owner, right? In our home we have one special treasure, it is a little book that ties together with a piece of string on the front and is red and blue. I can see it perfectly without… [more]

How ‘Open’ is Open Adoption

August 24th, 2011

My boysWhen you think of the term 'open' you think of the ability to freely go in and out...like a restaurant displaying their sign 'open'. They don't attach any stipulations to that term such as you can only come in on my good days or you can only eat what I place in front of you...that wouldn't appear to be the 'open' we are all accustomed to. So when you say 'open adoption' does it mean that as a birth mother you can walk in and out of the life of the adoptive parents freely? OR does it mean that the adoptive parents can walk in and out of yours just the same? There seems to be no true definition across the board… [more]

Congratulations on Your Adoption – From Birth Parents

July 10th, 2007

I expect that enthusiastic responses are the natural expectation when adoptive parents announce that they have adopted a child. If you already have a large family to begin with, snide comments probably might inquire as to why you are adopting again. In general though, I imagine that the news of a newly adopted child usually brings positive comments. When most people hear that a child has a new home, they are enthused and happy for both the child and its new family. Indeed, an enthusiastic response is a natural response and should be offered. The adoption of a child is cause for celebration, and I do not quibble with that notion. However, my reaction, and that of many birth parents is sometimes less enthusiastic than… [more]

Celebrating Favorite Moms in Adoption – Kate

May 12th, 2007

We have only met once in person so far, Kate and I. However, we have traded many emails back and forth and have gotten to know each other via those exchanges. Kate grew up in the North Eastern United States with fond memories of berry picking as a child with her sister. I grew up in the South in a suburb of Memphis in spitting distance of Graceland, hanging out at the gate hoping for a glance of Elvis. Kate is naturally somewhat reserved and proper, but most decidely not stuffy. No one would ever describe me as either reserved or proper. Although we both dress in a similar conservative manner, I suspect that I am more of a risk-taker and… [more]

Birth Parents Who Walk Away – Part 2

March 9th, 2007

Part 1 received such great comments, I decided I had more to say on this subject. Deb made a mention of my "glossing over" the fact that some birth parents really do not care about their children, and wrote a post about it too. However, I did not mention that reason because I believe that it is the first reason that generally pops into one's head when birth parents pull out of an adoption. I have seen mention of it numerous times by adoptive parents, and wanted to offer other explanations that I believe are actually closer to the truth in most cases. Certainly, there are many reasons why birth parents walk away from an open adoption. I was trying to… [more]