Be Careful How You Read The News

June 29th, 2009
Categories: Articles

A friend recently emailed me. Did you hear about that news story where the birth mom in an open adoption kidnapped the daughter she placed? No, in fact, I had not heard that story. Because that's not what happened. A mentally unstable woman working in the nursery at a church kidnapped someone else's child. She did not kidnap a child she relinquished for adoption because she has never placed a child for adoption. Smith said she had no idea, until talking to Reid's family, that Reid did not give up a child for adoption. She was floored to learn that the kidnapped baby was named Savannah, the same name Reid used in her story. I find it frustrating enough that we in the adoption world have to fight… [more]

Canadian Birth Mom and Adoptee Speaks Out About Openness

August 9th, 2007
Categories: Articles

Oh, Canada! Sometimes facts are facts. Yet I can't get past the sensational title on the top browser bar of this article: "A Woman who was dumped as a newborn has told of her decision to give up her own baby for adoption." Beyond using the personally annoying term of "give up," dumped just screams at me. Of course, in Katie's story, she was abandoned in a gym bag by her biological mother. The use of the word abandoned still would have piqued my interest but dumped seems unnecessary in light of her story. All that said, it's a decent article about her own life as a closed adoption adoptee and the life she is hoping her son has as an open adoption adoptee… [more]

Knowing Is Half the Battle

August 8th, 2007
Categories: Articles

Knowing! Accompanying the LA Times two part article was a smaller article that not many (if any yet) have touched on regarding openness and adoptee loss. As a birth mother, I want to know about issues that adoptees have, will or can experience. When the idea of openness was sold to me, no one talked about adoptee's losses. The truth remains: even in fully open adoptions, some sense of loss remains. The questions that remain have to do with whether or not open adoption helps alleviate some of that loss. I have beat myself up over the years because I was so uneducated about the potential and very real losses that adoptees can experience with relation to their adoption. While I know my… [more]

Mainstream Magazine Wants Birth Mother Perspective

August 8th, 2007
Categories: Articles

Magazines on Display While the LA Times article did cover the birth mother perspective in their two part series, it is rare to see a story about a first mother in the mainstream media. Magazines, even ones that feature mothering issues, rarely feature stories on birth parents. We're still considered less than or taboo by the glossy-paged experts in the grocery store checkout line. Well, perhaps we can make a singular change to that rule. I've been speaking with Gina Shaw for a few weeks now. She is a freelance writer who regularly published things for Redbook magazine. She's also an adoptive mom involved in a domestic open adoption. She's busy working on an article about, you guessed it, adoption. While the story is featuring… [more]

Article Touches on Realities of Open Adoption

August 6th, 2007
Categories: Articles

Open Doors are Okay It's a long read. It's not an easy read. It's a necessary read. Parts One and Two of an open adoption story were featured in the LA Times yesterday and today. All too frequently, adoptive and birth parents who are participating in open adoptions hear, "Well, we'll have to wait until the kids are older to hear what they say." This open adoption started in 1983. The birth mother, adoptive mother and adoptee all speak in this piece. You want to know? Read it. If anything, the stories of these three women show us some important things: consistency and communication are key in an open adoption. Not only are those things key between adults when the child is… [more]

Book Hits the Heart of Open Adoption

July 19th, 2007
Categories: Articles, Books

At the Heart Granted, I haven't read the book just yet though I'm ordering it as I type. Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties through Open Adoption by Micky Duxbury sounds like something that should be handed out to all parties agreeing to any level of openness. I have seen the book before during my searches on the topic of open adoption but a recent article on DailyRecord caught my eye. I was pleased with what I read. The author, an adoptive mom and family therapist, is obviously a supporter of open adoption. She explains that she met her daughter's birth parents prior to relinquishment. They then began to have visits about once a year. To explain the reasoning behind her… [more]

Another Newspaper Article Misses the Mark

May 11th, 2007
Categories: Articles

Pain and SadnessHaving worked in my educated field for a few years, I know that titles of articles or news stories aren't always spot on. Sometimes they miss the mark slightly because they pick up on one idea within the story and run with it instead of stating an overview of the entire piece. So, I tried to keep that in mind when I saw the title of this article as I read my e-mail this morning: Open adoptions ease pain for birth moms In bold, block lettering across the top of the article that featured a smiling (birth) mother holding her baby. My heart stopped a little. I choked on my water. Anger immediately pulsed through my veins. Pain in adoption is not magically erased… [more]