Parenting Denied, Twice Over

February 20th, 2007
Categories: Miscarriage

You Should Be Here TodayWhile everyone is still bickering over who is a better parent and what needs to be proven in order to become a parent, I'm sitting here wondering why I have been denied that joy twice in my life. The sting of the question hits harder today, the day that would have been our Rose Angel's due date. I have no answers. I have many questions. I feel very alone, very angry and very sad all at the same time. I have no doubt that no one would have approved me to parent the Munchkin given the circumstances of my first pregnancy: due to my kidney disorder I was bed-ridden, unable to work or save up money and without familial support… [more]

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Remembering Rose Angel

October 15th, 2006
Categories: Miscarriage

Rose MemorialAs a birthmother, I never expected to experience any issues with my reproductive organs. After all, I got pregnant unexpectedly with the Munchkin. People assume, all too often, that birthmothers just pop out kids left and right. I was told, more than once, by women experiencing the pain associated with today's remembrance, that I would never know what it was like to experience the loss of a child. If only those cruel words were right. We didn't know that we were pregnant. I started experiencing cramps and bleeding on a warm June day. I consulted with my Husband, who is also a paramedic, and then called my OBGYN. They had me come in the next day. I just thought something was wrong. I didn't expect for my… [more]

October 15th: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15th, 2006

AwarenessLast month, the House of Representatives passed a Resolution that October 15th is now recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you've experienced a miscarriage, like I have, or the loss of your new infant, you probably don't need a day to sit and remember. Do you? For me, personally, our lost baby pops into my mind at random bits of time, surprising me with her presence. Yet I am happy, if that's the right word, that the Resolution passed. Too often, those who experience the loss of a pregnancy are told not to grieve. In many ways, often through well-intentioned comments, the Mother's (and Father's) grief is diminished. "You can have another child." So many families are "consoled" with this placating attempt… [more]