I Lied to My Doctor

April 7th, 2010
Categories: Ethics

Stethescope?I just got a new primary care physician. Or, rather, I just got my first non-specialist doctor since 1998. Other than birthing babies and having kidney disease, I haven't had a regular-Joe doctor in over a decade. As I have some new issues popping up, I needed to establish a primary care physician in order to properly obtain a referral so that my insurance company would actually pay for the expensive procedures that await me. A lot of phone calls, tears and two and a half months later and I finally had myself an appointment and a doctor. But I lied to him. I know I'm all for honesty. And, really, I don't like the idea of lying to a doctor because they need… [more]

Should Language Barriers Result in Removal?

August 30th, 2009
Categories: Ethics

I will never condone abuse or neglect. Children experiencing such atrocities need to be removed, at the very least, for a temporary time period. However, I cannot agree with this case out of Mississippi in which a mother lost custody of her child because she didn't speak English. I kept hoping, as I read the article, that another shoe would drop. She would have had a previous DUI or a history of drug use. Not so. She is an undocumented migrant worker having come to the US in hopes of sending money home to her other two children. She comes from an area in Mexico, Oaxaca, which speaks an indigenous language. At the hospital, the translator was not familiar with her language and, according to… [more]

Tips for Birth Parents on Sharing Pictures

July 7th, 2008
Categories: Ethics

The internet is a great way for friends and family to share pictures back and forth without the hassle of postage and money for gas on the way to the Post Office. The immediate gratification of uploading and posting a picture has people, world wide, sharing things that would otherwise take a lot of time or simply not be possible. Of course, there are those who want to abuse the fact that people are willing to upload and post pictures. This presents a unique dilemma for birth parents. Perhaps you are a birth parent involved in an open adoption. Perhaps you are a birth parent recently reunited with the child you relinquished for adoption years ago. Either way, chance are that you have some pictures now in… [more]

And So It Starts: The Plea for the Pact Babies

June 23rd, 2008

A fellow adoption news follower sent me a link to this "article." Of course, it's not an article. Instead it's a "Letter to the Editor" from a waiting adoptive mother to the newspaper in the city which the Pregnancy Pact teens all live. And by "Letter to the Editor," I mean "Letter to the Teens Themselves." Why this newspaper decided to print such an obvious and blatant "Give Me Your Baby" note is beyond me. It's free "advertising." I'd be interested to know if the editor of this paper has a personal opinion on the Pregnancy Pact girls or is touched by adoption in some way. The desperate woman goes so far as to give her e-mail address while glossing over important adoption facts. Giving up… [more]

Offensive Tip

May 27th, 2008

Take a moment to read this article. Done? No? You need me to paraphrase for you? Okay. Basically, an expectant mother was working at a restaurant. One of her tables leaves and, along with their tip, they leave a card that reads, and I quote: We wish to adopt a baby. We are a caring, happily married, financially secure and loving couple. We want to share our joy and love with a child. There are many things wrong with this action. I've taken some time to calm down before writing this particular blog because my initial reaction was to scream and use caps lock and possibly even cuss. However, that won't solve anything or help people understand why this is so offensive. First of all, the mother in… [more]

What to Promote? How to Do It?

April 23rd, 2008
Categories: Ethics

I was reading a really heartwarming article (that mentions our own Coley). I was getting a good vibe. I was feeling really happy for the birth mother and son that were reunited. I was really happy that the media covered a happy adoption story instead of something awful. And then it all went to heck in a hand basket. “My goal is to help just one girl choose adoption over abortion,” she said. I am not about to promote abortion in any way whatsoever. I have no experience with abortion and will not claim to be an expert on the topic. However, that quote is what gets me about the pro-life movement. Why are we only promoting adoption? Why aren't we promoting parenting, too? This frustrates me… [more]

Oklahoma to Review Adoption Laws

April 16th, 2008
Categories: Ethics

Everyone who has read a lick of what I write knows that I support ethical adoptions and the reforms that are taking place to ensure that adoptions are being handled ethically. And so, I perked up when I saw this article. Oklahoma has won approval to review their adoption laws which apparently haven't been reviewed since 1994. How much has changed in 14 years? Of course, my hopes were quickly dashed. Why do I get excited? Why do I bother with getting my hopes lifted that reviewing adoption means looking at it from all sides? Why do I honestly think that people want to make sure that expectant parents considering relinquishment and birth parents are treated in an equally ethical manner? It's not that the… [more]

Unborn Children Available for Adoption?

March 28th, 2008

What? Does the title of this post make you scratch your head? Me too. It hails from this article which wears its own title of "Adoption in the Womb." My mind is spinning. The story is out of Mexico. Some lawmakers are trying to combat abortion. Unfortunately, instead of starting with the actual problem (lack of sexual education and access to legitimate birth control), they're working on after-the-fact issues. Their idea, in case you couldn't guess, is to allow adoption of the child before it is born. I cannot begin to fathom the problems that could create. Ethics aside, since it is completely unethical without question, can't you see the amount of problems that could arise once the child is actually born and the biological mother… [more]

Agency Closing and Case Update

March 19th, 2008
Categories: Current News, Ethics

Remember just yesterday? (Okay, I don't remember what I wore or ate yesterday. Let me clarify.) Remember just yesterday when I talked about holding agencies, attorneys and the like to an ethical standard? And what would happen if our country imparted actual punishments to those who try to get past red tape and act in totally unethical and inappropriate manners? Did you think the sky would fall first, too? Welcome to Ohio in 2008. Not only did this show up in my news alerts but I had three people e-mail it to me and a friend from the area in which this paper is published actually phoned me. I'm not the only one who is realizing that this is big, big news. We've… [more]

Another Father’s Rights Trampled Upon

March 18th, 2008
Categories: Ethics

Apparently American agencies, social workers and attorneys are not the only ones who are stomping all over father's rights. In this story out of New Zealand, we can see how the unethical practices of adoption aren't unique to our country. The problem is world wide and, really, that's scary. However, the silver lining to this story is two-fold: the child was returned to his father after he started a legal battle and the attorney who advised the mother that she didn't need the father's permission to relinquish her child has been placed on a three year suspension. I'm pretty impressed with the three year suspension, though there is a part of me that thinks such a grievous mistake warrants a disbarring. Yet any step in an… [more]