Fall 2011: Growing Up and Away

October 18th, 2011

heart treeWhen you place a child, it changes you forever. I am reminded of the saying "having a baby changes everything". And boy, do they mean everything. As I look introspectively in this season, watching tree's leaves fall, the colors change I realize I have changed, and even better, I am changing. I used to have unhealthy relationships, and breaking away from them is very difficult, but in the end, I am better off. I have learned several things because of adoption: 1.Choose your partner with the same sincerity and desire (the best for you) as you chose for your birth son or daughter. You are worth it. Do you know how brave you are, (and trust me I am saying this as much… [more]

How ‘Open’ is Open Adoption

August 24th, 2011

My boysWhen you think of the term 'open' you think of the ability to freely go in and out...like a restaurant displaying their sign 'open'. They don't attach any stipulations to that term such as you can only come in on my good days or you can only eat what I place in front of you...that wouldn't appear to be the 'open' we are all accustomed to. So when you say 'open adoption' does it mean that as a birth mother you can walk in and out of the life of the adoptive parents freely? OR does it mean that the adoptive parents can walk in and out of yours just the same? There seems to be no true definition across the board… [more]

Wrong Reasons

February 4th, 2008

I recently came across a blog that hit on the "wrong reasons" to adopt a child. It got me pondering about the many "wrong reasons" for various things in the birth parent realm of action. I don't see comprehensive lists like those anywhere, so let's consider. What are the wrong reasons to place your child? What are some wrong reasons for actions within an open adoption relationship? And what are some wrong reasons for actions when you consider search and reunion? First and foremost, you should never relinquish your child just because someone in your family thinks or says that you should. Many of my birth mother sisters from the closed era were forced to do so by their own families. That's not the way it needs to… [more]

Closed Adoptions and Marriage

July 25th, 2007
Categories: Relationships

Silent In keeping with my normal goal of presenting many sides of the birth parent experience, I also interviewed a mother who placed during the closed adoption era. While her experience may differ from some present day birth mothers, there are still mothers who live the closed adoption experience either by choice or by the closing of adoption's doors by the adoptive family. Suz, who placed her daughter in 1986, has many great pieces of advice to share with us regarding the topic. I asked Suz the same questions as I had asked others even though situations were different. I knew her daughter and her daughter's family were not invited to the wedding but that didn't mean that she didn't take time and effort to acknowledge… [more]