I am a Birth Mother

November 14th, 2011

birth mother voicesI am a birth mother; a name I kept hidden from everyone except my parents and my sister and my husband for over 30 years. I was told that I would forget. I never did. This is my story. I dated a boy, K, who was a year older than me, when I was a teenager. My mother didn’t meet K until we had been dating for a little while. As soon as she met him she forbade me from seeing him. So, I snuck around behind her back to see him. I got pregnant when I was 15. I hid the pregnancy from my parents until I was 6 ½ months along and could no longer hide it. K and… [more]

The Treasure

September 23rd, 2011

#C513480951108#P745061951108#F8#How do you explain in words something you treasure or covet? Like the pair of sweats that you have had for way too many years but never want to part from, the handkerchief that was once your Grandma’s that sits in a drawer. What about treasures of your children’s? You would think they would be simple items like their ‘best’ drawing ‘ever’ that they chose to save, their best Lego guy or their first blanket. You can sum them all up as irreplaceable to the owner, right? In our home we have one special treasure, it is a little book that ties together with a piece of string on the front and is red and blue. I can see it perfectly without… [more]

The Letter

September 13th, 2011

BootsI tend to hold onto letters that I receive from people in my life that hold a special spot. Birthday cards from my children and husband, letters from my Grandma from over the years as well as letters from the adoptive parents of my placed son, Will. They are treasures I don’t want to ever part with. If you are anything like me your heart fills with joy when you get a letter in the mail, the thought of someone thinking of you enough to send you a letter is a comforting feeling. I remember the day I received one particular letter in the mail, dated 12/30/06. It was from the adoptive parents and I couldn’t wait to read the latest of

How ‘Open’ is Open Adoption

August 24th, 2011

My boysWhen you think of the term 'open' you think of the ability to freely go in and out...like a restaurant displaying their sign 'open'. They don't attach any stipulations to that term such as you can only come in on my good days or you can only eat what I place in front of you...that wouldn't appear to be the 'open' we are all accustomed to. So when you say 'open adoption' does it mean that as a birth mother you can walk in and out of the life of the adoptive parents freely? OR does it mean that the adoptive parents can walk in and out of yours just the same? There seems to be no true definition across the board… [more]

Day’s Like These…

August 11th, 2011

Birthday smileWe all carry around with us special dates in our mind, be it birthday's, anniversaries, adoption dates. On the flip side we also carry around with us dates that altered us forever, be it the day you chose to lovingly give your child up for adoption or the date you lost a loved one...whatever it may be they are permanently stored. For the longest time I was hung up on the 'difficult' dates, but as time has passed and wounds healed I learned to see the good in those 'difficult' dates. After giving up my son for adoption (hate the term giving up btw) that first year was difficult. I was hung up on the dates and special things that he was experiencing that… [more]

What is Your Title?

August 3rd, 2011

(OLy)-758_2So often we get caught up in the titles we have been given in our life; best athlete, honor student, top performer...the list can and will go on. As we reach adulthood we strive for even more; Manager, Director, COO, CEO, Chairman. What is it about these titles that we strive to have? The feeling of importance? There is something common with all of those titles, they were GIVEN to you...what is a title you have GIVEN yourself? My titles: birth mother, wife, mommy, children's book author, friend. If you think about it, the titles you give yourself hold the most meaning...they will follow you beyond your athletic years, beyond your college studies, beyond your career and beyond your paycheck. Your title says a lot… [more]

About Birth Parents in Barbados

September 27th, 2008

Have you been enjoying our impromptu look at birth parents and adoption issues around the world? Me too! It really wasn't my intention for a series of posts this week but other countries are just putting out a bunch of information and I'm gobbling it up! Today I learned a bit about birth parents in Barbados from a piece in The Nation Newspaper. What I found most interesting was the age of birth parents in that country. While the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute study on birthparents taught us that American birth parents don't frequently fit the stereotype of the teen mother, I was still a bit shocked to read about the average age of Barbados' birth parents. Women over 30 top the numbers of those who… [more]

News Out of Sydney We Should All Read

September 27th, 2008

Australia is a beautiful place, don't you think? Beyond the beauty of the land, I'm always impressed with the way this country handles adoption issues. In an article dated yesterday, I could hardly contain my glee for the members of the triad living down under. Why? Let's jump right to the meat of the proposals being discussed (and the one that makes me most happy). Under the proposed scheme adoptive parents will automatically receive a child's original and amended birth certificates and other prescribed information, such as adoption orders. A child under 18 will be able to gain access to the information with the adoptive parents' consent. Say what? The original, unamended birth certificate? When? At birth? Hurrah! And letting a child gain access to information if… [more]

Like The English American but Irish and Backwards

September 25th, 2008

I loved the novel The English American (which I reviewed here). But I love this article even more. Why? I always prefer real life to novels. And this article is such a feel-good but honest adoption piece that I don't even know how it made it to print. Usually the news is so filled with gloom and doom and we never hear good news. It's another article coming out of Ireland. I learned a few historical adoption things from this article that I didn't previously know. Between 1940 and 1970, over two thousand Irish babies were adopted by American families. They refer to this group as Ireland's "lost generation." Like in America, these children were born to young mothers in families that were most… [more]

Unborn Children Available for Adoption?

March 28th, 2008

What? Does the title of this post make you scratch your head? Me too. It hails from this article which wears its own title of "Adoption in the Womb." My mind is spinning. The story is out of Mexico. Some lawmakers are trying to combat abortion. Unfortunately, instead of starting with the actual problem (lack of sexual education and access to legitimate birth control), they're working on after-the-fact issues. Their idea, in case you couldn't guess, is to allow adoption of the child before it is born. I cannot begin to fathom the problems that could create. Ethics aside, since it is completely unethical without question, can't you see the amount of problems that could arise once the child is actually born and the biological mother… [more]