How ‘Open’ is Open Adoption

August 24th, 2011

My boysWhen you think of the term 'open' you think of the ability to freely go in and out...like a restaurant displaying their sign 'open'. They don't attach any stipulations to that term such as you can only come in on my good days or you can only eat what I place in front of you...that wouldn't appear to be the 'open' we are all accustomed to. So when you say 'open adoption' does it mean that as a birth mother you can walk in and out of the life of the adoptive parents freely? OR does it mean that the adoptive parents can walk in and out of yours just the same? There seems to be no true definition across the board… [more]

Please Review Your Agency

February 15th, 2008
Categories: Choosing an Agency

One of my complaints during my pregnancy was that I didn't have a lot of information. That's why I strive so hard to get information "out there" for expectant mothers considering placement. And so I come here today imploring birth parents to take a few minutes, visit this site and put up a review of your agency experience. Adoption Agency Ratings is mostly filled with adoptive parent reviews. Some are good, some are bad. It's a great resource. But we, as birth parents, can improve upon what is already pretty awesome. By including our experience, expectant parents considering placement can use it as well and potential adoptive parents could learn "the other side" of an agency that they are considering. True. I know you're thinking it before you even say… [more]

Questions to Ask an Adoption Agency

July 24th, 2007
Categories: Choosing an Agency

Lately, I have come across a few questionnaires/checklists designed to help prospective adoptive parents choose an adoption agency. Few offer any suggestions that might help determine the ethical nature of an agency (or lack of it). Here are some questions that might help locate an agency that is highly ethical and concerned about facilitating adoptions that are necessary. 1. What percentage of the women who begin an adoption plan at your agency back out and decide to keep their babies? 2. Do you offer pregnant women considering parenting and adoption any parenting resources? If not, what do you tell them about finding resources? 3. Do you actively recruit birth mothers? If so, where do you locate most of them? 4. Are young women advised of their… [more]

Adoption Agencies or Facilitators?

July 14th, 2007
Categories: Choosing an Agency

Child adoption facilitators versus child adoption agencies: The US government and many state authorities are receiving and ever growing number of complaints concerning child adoption facilitators operating in various states and countries. Agencies vs. Facilitators is an informative article about the differences between using agencies or adoption facilitators to adopt. Laws differ from state to state about whether facilitators can legally operate, particularly if they receive money for their services. The improper use of a paid Adoption Facilitator could have a detrimental impact on the finalization of an adoption, and may even present problems under state criminal statutes. I confess to not knowing much about why some people choose to use facilitators as opposed to agencies. Is cost a factor? As problematic as… [more]

Choosing an Adoption Agency – Part 3

July 19th, 2006
Categories: Choosing an Agency

10. Try to find other women who have placed children with the agency that you are considering and talk to them. Find not only recent birth mothers, but, some who have placed further back in time. Although the agency may provide you with birth mothers to talk to who have placed, they will most likely be hand picked and strong advocates for adoption. Keep that in mind. 11. In picking an adoption agency, trust your instincts. If anything about an agency doesn’t seem on the up and up, be suspicious and investigate further. Check with the local regulating authority that oversees adoption agencies, and find out if complaints have been filed against the agency. 12. If you need help and support during your crisis pregnancy, find… [more]

Choosing An Adoption Agency – Part 2

July 18th, 2006
Categories: Choosing an Agency

More Points For a Birth Mother to Consider in Choosing an Adoption Agency: 2. Choose an agency that indicates that many of the pregnant women who come to their agency change their minds and end up parenting if possible. Some agencies boast that few if any of the pregnant women who walk into their doors change their minds. Be suspicious if an agency makes this or similar claims. 3. If you decide on an open adoption, it might be particularly helpful if the agency you use is able to mediate any problems that arise after the adoption. . Even better is an agency that can refer to an impartial mediator who can help settle any disputes that might arise. 4. Look for an agency… [more]

Choosing An Agency – Part 1

July 17th, 2006
Categories: Choosing an Agency

Admittedly I have never chosen an adoption agency. When my son was relinquished, I was driven to the agency and the arrangements were made during one visit which lasted several hours. In retrospect, I am grateful that the agency is one that now offers post-adoption support. When my son decided that he wanted contact with me, all that he needed to do was tell the agency to search for me and fork over $500 - nine months later, they found me. The non-indentifying information was another charge. My knowledge of adoption agencies is therefore limited to the information I have received from others, and my perusing the Internet. I have learned a great deal. Most of the birth moms from my era are very… [more]