March 12th, 2013

nameThe story starts like most of these stories do; I was seventeen, and one autumn afternoon I received that  life altering news; I was expecting a child. To this day, those words, their enormity will never leave me. I didn't hide it from anyone, like I know some choose to do. I promptly told my parents, close friends, and began to imagine what my life was going to look like going forward. Even though I was terrified, I was never ashamed. Honesty was the only thing I had left, I felt, as my friends dropped from my life, and the rumors spread like wildfire. I was raised in a highly religious home. For my parents, having an unwed pregnant daughter was next to murder… [more]

How ‘Open’ is Open Adoption

August 24th, 2011

My boysWhen you think of the term 'open' you think of the ability to freely go in and a restaurant displaying their sign 'open'. They don't attach any stipulations to that term such as you can only come in on my good days or you can only eat what I place in front of you...that wouldn't appear to be the 'open' we are all accustomed to. So when you say 'open adoption' does it mean that as a birth mother you can walk in and out of the life of the adoptive parents freely? OR does it mean that the adoptive parents can walk in and out of yours just the same? There seems to be no true definition across the board… [more]

Day’s Like These…

August 11th, 2011

Birthday smileWe all carry around with us special dates in our mind, be it birthday's, anniversaries, adoption dates. On the flip side we also carry around with us dates that altered us forever, be it the day you chose to lovingly give your child up for adoption or the date you lost a loved one...whatever it may be they are permanently stored. For the longest time I was hung up on the 'difficult' dates, but as time has passed and wounds healed I learned to see the good in those 'difficult' dates. After giving up my son for adoption (hate the term giving up btw) that first year was difficult. I was hung up on the dates and special things that he was experiencing that… [more]

Giving Birth to New Life: Part 2

July 28th, 2011

Olson FamilyWe have all heard the words before 'you are just like your mother' or 'you are your father's son'. When you hear those words said it is usually meant to be a compliment, right? Well, in my world it was quite the opposite, to hear 'you are turning out like your mother' meant I had done something terribly wrong...those words still send shooting pains to my stomach. So you can imagine that when I found out I was pregnant, out of wedlock, I anticipated those words rolling off the lips of my father. To my shock he didn't even mention it, in fact he didn't have much to say at all. Over the course of my pregnancy my father and step-mother seemed… [more]

How Much to Disclose

July 13th, 2007

While researching a different post, I came across this question. A prospective adoption parent asked whether or not they should disclose a drug conviction. Uh, yes, definitely! This is not the first time that I have seen questions about what potential adoptive parents should disclose, and will unlikely be the last time. How would you feel as an birth parent if you found out that you had entrusted your child to a family that had omitted important information about their past or even their present? Potential adoptive parents have asked whether or not they should reveal depression and/or bi-polar disease. Both are conditions that I consider important to know. Other adoptive parents have struggled with whether or not to reveal past criminal convictions… [more]

The Cart Before the Horse

July 3rd, 2007

This story makes me angry, and I am going to write about why it does. Bare with me, I want to be brutally honest about why this story angers me so, and many adoptive parents may thoroughly disagree with my point of view. If you are not in a mood for such frankness today, don't say that I did not warn you! What is there to say when the child you have come to embrace as your own is taken from you? How do you grieve for the son you never met? The quote above is from the author of this story. He is a potential adoptive father, and he writes about the nightmare of "losing" a child because its mother changed her mind about… [more]

Nicole Richie’s Adoption Story

May 7th, 2007

My husband mentioned the other day what a unique adoption story Nicole Richie has and suggested it as a blog topic. We saw an interview with Lionel Ritchie on television some time ago, and he discussed his daughter’s adoption. My dear husband was blown away at the whole story about why Nicole came to be adopted by the Richies. I was astounded that Lionel Ritchie would share a story that would cast him in such a negative light. Maybe he did not realize how bad it would sound. Another possibility is that he did not care, and/or was just being honest. Nevertheless, it is a fairly shocking story and hard to imagine. However, it does offer some explanation as to Nicole's struggles as an adult. Lionel… [more]

Born on the Fourth of July – Part 1

July 4th, 2006

As I was trying to come up with a Fourth of July blog, I was reminded that I have a friend whose birthday is July 4. We will be celebrating with her again this year. Marsha is a neat lady and I like her alot. She is one of the most loving and warm moms that I know. Her two children are two really bright, talented and all around great kids. We've spent a few weekends with Marsha, her husband and children at the beach the past few summers and always have a fantastic time. We stay at a small house right on the boardwalk of a local beach. The location is unbeatable. if we want to lay in the sand or… [more]