If you're a birth parent in an open adoption or reunion, you're probably considering Christmas presents for your placed child right now. (Unless you're done, like me. We can pat ourselves on the back after helping out our fellow brothers and sisters.) Whether the child that you relinquished for adoption is still a child or a full-grown adult, I have a gift idea that will work: the gift of tradition.

That will mean something different for each family. I don't know you or your family's history so I can't tell you specifically what to give when it comes to... more

December is upon us! Not that the commercial world hasn't been shoving it down our throats since Halloween day was almost over but, still, it's now "appropriate" to be discussing gift ideas. (Though, to be fair, I'm done shopping for almost everyone.)

I've written in the past how I have an ornament on my tree for the daughter that I placed for adoption. I purchased it in the months after she was born. I was at a store that carries ornaments and they had all of the previous year's ornaments that contained the date marked at 75% off. I looked and found a... more

I've been struck by loss this Halloween season. More so than in years past. Why? I'm assuming it is because I am now the everyday parent to two children and their costumes have a theme. The previous two years of Halloween didn't strike me as much as there wasn't really a theme, just a solitary costume decision. This year, of course, is different and I am so very aware of what is missing in our theme.

My boys are dressing as Sebastian and Flounder from The Little Mermaid. The choice behind these costumes is pure chance. I happened to remember the Sebastian... more

I meant to offer a challenge to my readers yesterday but my future sister-in-law had a bridal shower and my day disappeared. And so, first and foremost, let me wish a Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers reading this blog. Birth Fathers. Adoptive Fathers. Fathers by Birth. Stepfathers. Foster Fathers. Grandfathers. Fathers-to-be. And, simultaneously, a Happy Day to all of those males that have been a Father figure in some child's life.

We're having a grand day over here! The weather is fabulous. And right now? Both boys are napping and my... more

Yesterday I wrote about how some birth mothers react to the subject of Father's Day when it comes to their relinquished child's biological father. I asked the same question of adoptive parents. Much like in the birth mother group, their answers varied widely. I expect no less as adoption is such a unique... more

I asked readers to e-mail me and forum members to reply with their experiences of being a birth mother and the emotions and actions surrounding their child's biological father and Father's Day. I got some great responses of varied experience. For this I am glad! We need more voices, more stories being told so that others might catch a glimpse.

A group that I accidentally and largely neglected to address in my previous post spoke up in large number: birth mothers who married their child's biological father. To be fair, I may have subconsciously left them... more

For birth parents in open adoption, holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day can be daunting. However emotionally charged, it is important to remember to recognize your child's everyday parents. This Father's Day take some time to consider how you want to honor your child's Dad. I've included some ideas.

1. A Picture. I know. You're scratching your head. What picture could we possibly have that the adoptive parents don't already have? Plus, they have the child in their home! They know what the kid looks like! Consider this: during a... more

Wow. Let me tell you something. Writing about both Birthmother's and Mother's Day last week left me drained. The constant focus on two emotionally charged subjects left me with absolutely nothing to say until today. And really, all I have to say today is that I survived the hullabaloo.

To be honest, I'm always in kind of a hungover stupor in the aftermath of Mother's Day weekend. While I had a nice time with my Husband and boys, my emotions were on overdrive. I was on edge, which my Husband noticed but respected. I snapped a few times when I wish I could... more

I hope all of my friends and readers are having a beautiful Mother's Day. The weather here isn't conducive to any time spent to time in my flower garden which would have been rather therapeutic. Instead, we're enjoying some time indoors with books, Wii and, get this, I'm even going to take a nap today.

I thought that my forced ambivalence regarding the day would make for an easier day. I went to bed last night with the feeling that today was just another day, that it didn't mean all that much and that I would be okay when I woke up. Apparently I'm naive... more

For birth mothers who know what today is, being Birthmother's Day, it's sure to cross the mind of supporters and non-supporters alike. Whether a passing thought or an active participant in birth mother activities today, our thoughts are likely on various issues in adoption. However, I'm presenting some food for thought today.

No matter how you feel about today, no matter how the thought of a separate and decidedly unequal day makes you feel, spend some time in thought about your relinquished child. (Or, if you're in reunion or an open adoption, spend some... more