I meant to offer a challenge to my readers yesterday but my future sister-in-law had a bridal shower and my day disappeared. And so, first and foremost, let me wish a Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers reading this blog. Birth Fathers. Adoptive Fathers. Fathers by Birth. Stepfathers. Foster Fathers. Grandfathers. Fathers-to-be. And, simultaneously, a Happy Day to all of those males that have been a Father figure in some child's life.

We're having a grand day over here! The weather is fabulous. And right now? Both boys are napping and my... more

Yesterday I wrote about how some birth mothers react to the subject of Father's Day when it comes to their relinquished child's biological father. I asked the same question of adoptive parents. Much like in the birth mother group, their answers varied widely. I expect no less as adoption is such a unique... more

I asked readers to e-mail me and forum members to reply with their experiences of being a birth mother and the emotions and actions surrounding their child's biological father and Father's Day. I got some great responses of varied experience. For this I am glad! We need more voices, more stories being told so that others might catch a glimpse.

A group that I accidentally and largely neglected to address in my previous post spoke up in large number: birth mothers who married their child's biological father. To be fair, I may have subconsciously left them... more

For birth parents in open adoption, holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day can be daunting. However emotionally charged, it is important to remember to recognize your child's everyday parents. This Father's Day take some time to consider how you want to honor your child's Dad. I've included some ideas.

1. A Picture. I know. You're scratching your head. What picture could we possibly have that the adoptive parents don't already have? Plus, they have the child in their home! They know what the kid looks like! Consider this: during a... more

Wow. Let me tell you something. Writing about both Birthmother's and Mother's Day last week left me drained. The constant focus on two emotionally charged subjects left me with absolutely nothing to say until today. And really, all I have to say today is that I survived the hullabaloo.

To be honest, I'm always in kind of a hungover stupor in the aftermath of Mother's Day weekend. While I had a nice time with my Husband and boys, my emotions were on overdrive. I was on edge, which my Husband noticed but respected. I snapped a few times when I wish I could... more

I hope all of my friends and readers are having a beautiful Mother's Day. The weather here isn't conducive to any time spent to time in my flower garden which would have been rather therapeutic. Instead, we're enjoying some time indoors with books, Wii and, get this, I'm even going to take a nap today.

I thought that my forced ambivalence regarding the day would make for an easier day. I went to bed last night with the feeling that today was just another day, that it didn't mean all that much and that I would be okay when I woke up. Apparently I'm naive... more

For birth mothers who know what today is, being Birthmother's Day, it's sure to cross the mind of supporters and non-supporters alike. Whether a passing thought or an active participant in birth mother activities today, our thoughts are likely on various issues in adoption. However, I'm presenting some food for thought today.

No matter how you feel about today, no matter how the thought of a separate and decidedly unequal day makes you feel, spend some time in thought about your relinquished child. (Or, if you're in reunion or an open adoption, spend some... more

While I gave some ideas of things to do this coming Mother's Day weekend, I think everyone can agree that there are certain things you may also want to avoid in the name of sanity's sake. Of course, those things will differ from mother to mother as our experiences are all different and, as such, so are our triggers. With that said, I encourage you to identify your own triggers and assess your current place in your healing journey in order to better know what is and is not a good idea... more

Whether you are celebrating Birthmother's Day, Mother's Day or both, it's likely to be a weekend with some mixed emotions. While you may have to run here and there to celebrate with your own parents, your own children or a group of friends or other birth mothers, the important thing to remember is to do something to take care of yourself.

Here's a list of things that you can do this weekend.

1. If you're attending a religious ceremony this weekend, stand up when they ask the mothers in attendance to stand. Ignore the eyes on you, especially if you... more

Yesterday I shared a little bit about Birthmother's Day. (Visit that post for the brief history of the day.) I also talked about the pros of the day. Two commenters shared their reasons for choosing, at various points in their healing process, to celebrate on that particular day. They had some great perspective for first mothers who are trying to make a decision on which day feels right.

Today,... more