As I mentioned yesterday, we went to Nick's first costume party. He got many compliments on his little lion cub costume. Though he was called a girl at one point and asked what is "costume" was while fingering the Mei Tai. Of course, these both came from the same lady so I'm not too flabbergasted.

However, less than an hour later, flabbergasted was my middle name. I've written about it on the forums to get some feedback but it also needs to be written about here. Why? Because I didn't know this... more

In order to remember the emotions of the time immediately post-placement, I have to return to my journal. My mind has all but blocked a lot of those memories. Reading back over the sadness dripping from my words brings tears to my eyes. It wasn't an easy time. Reading the words is almost like reliving the pain; it's almost to much for me to handle. However, I'm glad that I wrote during this time. Otherwise, these memories and moments would be forever lost in a mind that shut itself down in order to cope.

As we were still fumbling... more

Except for those of us who wear more than one adoption title (adoptee, birth parent and/or adoptive parent), we are often at a loss for fully understanding what other members of the triad are feeling. As I mentioned in my last post, an adoptive Mom has asked me how, as an adoptive parent, one can help a birthmother (or father!) handle the emotions that inevitably swarm in post-placement. The truth is: there's not one answer.

Adoption... more

Someone recently contacted me with a subject that they wanted to see covered here in the ole blog. I think it's a quality topic that I hope to be able to cover with some sense of direction. I'll give it my best.

It would be nice to get some advice/information from a first mother directed to the adoptive parent(s) about how to help her deal with the emotions involved in placing a child. Especially the sometimes negative emotions that come later-on, like regret, guilt or second-guessing the adoption plan. I know that I often... more

This seems to fit right in with my current theme of learning things, online, from people who were adopted at some point in their life. I was just reading my morning news blurbs.

We don't often hear from (or listen to?) teenagers. You have to be eighteen to post on the forums due to legal considerations. It's great to learn from adults who have been through those tumultuous teenage years and come out on the other side, hopefully, wiser. I personally don't frequent any sites specifically... more

I've been talking about meeting various members of the triad via online mediums. However, as I move in to talk about the valuable resource that adoptees have been in my life, I need to state a small difference. It is true that I did not know any other Mothers who had placed a child prior to coming to the internet after Munchkin's placement. It is true that while I knew parents who had adopted children as I grew up, none of these people were my own personal friends. They were Mom... more

If you've been reading, I've been discussing meeting various triad members on the internet. Today I will share a fond memory of meeting one of my favorite adoptive Mom bloggers and friends in person. Who am I speaking of? Everyone's favorite: AfrindieMum! WOO! Yes, I've met her and I am thus cooler than you are. Unless you've met her, too, and then we're equally cool.

I got an email one day from Miss... more

I've written about making friends with other birthmoms online. And how it feels to get your feelings hurt via the internet. Now it's time to talk on one of the most valuable resources available to us thanks to the wonders of technology: other members of the triad. I'll talk about befriending adoptive parents first.

Shortly after I placed the Munchkin,... more

As I've been talking about, I've met most of my birthmom friends via some form of the internet. I've also made friends in various positions of the triad, which I'll talk about next. But I need to take a quick "pity" stop on this thought journey. No, not a pit stop. A pity stop. I'm about to throw a pity party. Did you bring the confetti?

Making friends online is sometimes safer than making friends in real life. When something goes wrong and you get rejected and/or dumped, you... more

As I said, I've made quite a few birthmom friends via the wonders of the internet. Unfortunately, quite a few of these women live in far off places. However, I've been blessed to have one or two live within driving distance. Of course, my days of being able to pick up a bag at the drop of a hat and drive three hours have passed. The good news is that others still have that freedom.

Enter Bre!

Bre drove three hours the other night, knowing that I've been having a blah-kind-of-time dealing with a few issues on my plate. I should let... more