We all have our own ideas of what being a parent is all about. Some events provide more joy for some parents than others. Talking to other birth parents, I have found that there are certain moments in our children's lives that we all missed the most.

Birthdays and holidays are difficult for most birth/first parents whether they are in open or closed adoptions. However, there are simpler times which we miss as well. Jenna wrote an excellent blog recently describing how much putting her Munchkin to bed meant to her. Putting a child... more

Here are the most significant people in my circle of triad members for 2006.

1) Without my son's natural curiosity to find me, I probably would not be here blogging today. Before he found me, I was wedged tightly into that birth mom denial closet. Had someone asked me 6 years ago if I was a birth mother, I might have had two reactions. I might have abruptly said "of course not," and changed the subject. Maybe, I might have burst into tears and spilled the beans.

Both my sons (and my daughter) are equally important and I love them all dearly.... more

A thread on the forums this morning made me think back to my pregnancy with the Munchkin. The question asked revolved around the fact that the expectant Mother, matched with an adoptive family, didn't seem to be sad, emotionally distraught or struggling to make a decision. The waiting adoptive Mom wanted to know if it was "normal."

Good question.... more

To end this brief series on a good note, I need to talk about what has been the best part, for me, in our adoption journey this year. Many things stick out in my mind. We've had some great visits. Watching my children interact has been great. D and I have learned even more about each other and have continued to build a solid friendship. And yet, there's one... more

Before birth, they are together, mother and baby with a unique symbiotic relationship. We now have some evidence that suggests that babies need to be with their original mothers after birth. Even if there is to be an adoption, some well respected authorities now believe that the familiarity and bond between baby and mother needs to be guarded and respected for a time. The theory is that bonding first with their original mothers allows them to bond better with others later, including the child's adoptive parents.

When babies are deprived of that time with their... more

We're living proof.

Things we like: beaches. Naps but staying up late. Guitar Hero even though we're way above the target demographic. Christina Aguilera. Musicals. Reading. Books in general. Babywearing! Laughing. Really crude humor shows on HBO that get cancelled even though we practically peed our pants while watching them. Computers. Nerdy stuff. America's Next Top Model. Tyra Banks. Angelina Joelie. Celebrity gossip. When our Husbands... more

I'm in the middle of a visit with the Munchkin and family. We actually just drove home (their home; not Ohio) from North Carolina. Why were we there? I'll talk about that tomorrow.

This is the big birthday visit. This time of year is so thick with memories that I can't turn around without running into one or another. It's hard. It's overwhelming. Sometimes it's nice.

In the car this evening, before the sunset and all heck broke loose, J and I were talking about the day that the Munchkin was born. It's nice that other people weren't under the influence of pain and/or pain medication and can therefore remember, with clarity, the line of events on that day. I have bits and pieces... more

I get sappy and introspective during the month of December. If my Husband can deal, so can you. I present to you the following quote:

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

Any parent can atest to the truth behind that quote. For example, right now, Nick is walking. They're those unsure steps that come right after the first few steps. Honestly, he'd still rather crawl. He can get there... more

Continuing on in my thankful series, I have to say that I am thankful for babywearing. If you know me, you know that babywearing is a passion of mine. When Nicholas was a small infant, the only way we could get him to go to sleep was to wear him in a sling. Now, we wear him everywhere in our Mei Tai Carriers. It's easier on my back and he is perfectly content being held that close to me, either via back or front.

How does this relate to adoption? Well, even though the Munchkin is NOT a baby, I got to wear her this past summer. (Picture below cut!)

... more

You heard me. I'm thankful for naps. Okay, more so than just the random, sporadic naps that I get to take on a daily basis (which I am still thankful for), I'm thankful for naps with the Munchkin.

On their visit this past January (2006; which was hard enough in itself), Munchkin was taking a nap in my bed one afternoon. I heard her start to stir and quietly made my way into the room. I snuggled into the covers and simply laid there, staring at the beautiful creature... more