As I discussed in part 1, I do not feel that it is appropriate to give advice to a pregnant women in a crisis pregnancy without first asking her lots of questions. The best decision for her depends on her specific situation. Because she is in a crisis situation, a clear head can help her make the best decision for her situation. Here are some of the items that I would ask a young mom-to-be trying to choose between her options.

1. Do you want to parent? If not, what are your concerns with parenting? Are you concerned that you cannot afford a... more

Despite what some might think, I would not presume to blanketly advise a young woman in a crisis pregnancy without learning about her particular situation. Instead, I would try to help her critically consider all her options before making a decision. Am I biased since I am a birth mother? Probably so. That does not mean that I would give totally biased and bad advice.

Many adoptive moms are probably biased too, but the same is true for them, some can provide objective advice. I do expect that some adoptive parents might lean toward the adoption... more

In my wonderings on the Internet, I came across this website which is from the University of Cincinatti Counseling Center. In addition to the usual options for an unplanned pregnancy, they offer another option. They call it the "Hidden Pregnancy Option."

Heated debate sometimes ensues when there is a discussion about parental consent for abortion. Certainly as parents, we all hope that our daughters feel comfortable discussing any subject with us. That includes sex and/or an unplanned pregnancy.... more

Three young pregnant women whacked the director of a maternity home in the head with a frying pan. Who could make up a story like this one? This story comes to us from the Salt Lake Tribune in Utah.

Some of you may be aware that adoption is big business in Utah for a variety of reasons. I won't go into those reasons here, but suffice to say that Utah is a very adoption friendly state.

When I first heard about this story, I googled the name of the home involved in this case. I did... more

Wouldn't it be helpful to have buttons like this one? There is a current commercial on t.v. that has a "easy" button. However, the fact is, life is not quite that simple. Women in crisis pregnancies could benefit from such a button. I think one of the problems with crisis pregnancies is that most of us search for the seemingly "easy" choice. Unfortunately, what may initially appear to be the easy solution, may not remain so easy over time. Adoption may never seem an "easy" solution, but it can seem easier than it really turns... more

Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them!

Margaret Mitchell

Ah, yes, this quote is from the author of that old Southern classic "Gone With the Wind." Her sentiment is as pertinent now as it has ever been. Okay, so there are some convenient times to have babies, right? When you are happily married, well-established and prosperous, a nice house, blah, blah, blah. Some women really want to be moms and they have all those things. It is responsible... more

Sometimes there are reasons that mothers and babies cannot stay together, and need to be raised by others. However, given that some experts believe that babies will bond better with adoptive parents if they have first had time with their first parents, I wonder why we ignore that? Maybe too few people just do not believe that, and think it is better for a baby to bypass its first mother altogether if there is to be an adoption?

Do people fear allowing the first mother to bond with the baby because they feel that if she does, she might change her mind? If... more

At the end of the survey, I asked the Mothers to share advice with those who may be experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Even though some of these Mothers have been through the wringer emotionally, physically and financially, their advice is surprisingly upbeat. They only want to encourage women who are now walking in their footprints instead of feeding them the same negative lines they've heard from everywhere and everyone else.

K offered some realistic but optimistic advice:

--It's not easy. Even in the most... more

The poor treatment I personally received in the hospital was not a result of my age. However it was a direct result of the fact that our hospital had absolutely no idea how to handle Mothers who were placing their children for adoption. It was a complete mess. Unfortunately, I'm not the only Mother who had a horrible hospital experience. That's why Brandy Hagelstein, whom some of you may know, wrote the Birthmother's Bill of Rights.... more

First and foremost, no matter your age, plans for your child after you leave the hospital or the color of your hair, you have a right to a certain standard of care in the hospital. Unfortunately, as we read yesterday, sometimes that standard of care isn't upheld due to doctors and nurses own personal views of a situation. Regardless of your circumstance, it will behoove you to learn what your rights are prior to receiving medical... more