This has been weighing heavily on my mind since just before Easter. I think I've finally put enough thought into it to, hopefully, make sense in blog format. The truth is that there are no guarantees that your child will be raised the religion you assumed that they would or keep that religion into their adult years.

Many expectant parents do not consider these issues when researching families in which to place their child. In fact, many expectant parents base their search heavily on religion. I find this to be scary! While many would like to believe that... more

As I wrote about this past summer, we got a new Pastor at our church. I was initially apprehensive. I mean, first of all, I don't like change! Secondly, it's really hard to predict how any certain human being will react to the topics of adoption, my role as a birth mother and the openness of our relationship. And so, I always take some time getting to know the Pastor before I drop in his office and have "the talk."

I've decided it's just about time. Is it wrong to admit that I've thrown... more

I'm not in the best of moods today. Our Pastor, whom I've spoken of in high regard before, preached his last sermon at our church today. He'll be heading to his new church and we'll be getting our new Pastor this coming Sunday. To be honest, I'm dreading the transition.

As I spoke of before, our (now old) Pastor not only accepted the fact that I was a birth parent but celebrated the relationship I have with my daughter's family.... more

I'll start off saying that I don't know the answer to the question asked in the subject: I don't know the many and most likely complex reasons that Christian girls end up pregnant. I do know that I was a Christian girl, raised in a Christian home. At age twenty-one, I found myself not only at odds with the parents from that Christian home but pregnant to boot. Again, I don't necessarily have the specific answers for how that pregnancy relates to my faith but I have some ideas. Maybe they fit others' experiences. Maybe not.

I had a lot of anger... more

Today our Pastor spoke about remembering God and thanking him for the blessings in our lives, especially when things are going well. Too often we forget to speak to or thank God when everything is going well. We come to Him, mostly, when things are down, out and dreadfully awful. I've been like this in my adoption journey.

When things are bad, and they do get bad at times, I'm more prone to speak to God, to ask for His guidance and blessing on the situation at hand. But what about now? In the midst of a... more

I've got some anger. I do. I admit it. I've managed to let go of a lot of it through patience, therapy, time and prayer. I am no longer angry with my parents, Munchkin's birth father or my own health, or lack thereof, regarding my kidneys and my pregnancy. However, I have some residual anger at the agency (in case you've missed that), society at large and, of course, myself. Is that okay? As a Christian birth mother?

I don't know.

In researching this topic for this post in the series, I came across an interesting site which... more

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you." -Isaiah 49:15

It's times like these, when I come across verses like this, I cringe. Considering many people, not just Christians, view birth mothers as "abandoners" who didn't love their children enough to parent them, at first read I feel personally stigmatized by this verse. Is there room for mothers who have placed children for... more

Grief. It's a word frequently used in adoption speak. All sides of the triad experience it in their own unique ways. My own personal grief has been a stumbling block in my faith on more than one occasion. As I wrote once before in a quote from the movie We Are Marshall, "Grief is messy." For me, in so many ways, I have found that to be true. In fact, my grief has made my faith messy at times.

While reading my Bible recently, which is the Women's... more

Today our Pastor shared a sermon about asking others to pray for you. Beyond the old adage of there is power in numbers and prayers, he shared the following two verses (and some others) with us:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. -James 5:16

Coupled with:

so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern... more

During today's Sunday School lesson, our Pastor was discussing how the book of Psalms offers great reference to today's world. At the time we were discussing grief in the context of how our church family lost a long standing member to a heart-attack just last night. However, grief has many forms. As a birth parent, I am familiar with grief. It taints most every aspect of my life.

There are some days when I feel very sad, dark. I've been struggling lately, as I mentioned in my need for smiles this past Love Thursday.... more