Since I began blogging at Adoption.com over a year ago, I have caught the attention of some very caring and sensitive mothers - some birth and some adoptive. I have appreciated the opportunity to be able to offer my views here. Plus, it has been a spectacular learning experience for me as well.

Although I expect many birth mothers to understand me and mostly agree with me, I know that my views are sometimes difficult or hard for adoptive parents to hear. Yet, many of you have read my words, and thoughtfully and calmly commented, whether you agreed... more

Most of our adoptive mother bloggers speak in glowing terms about their husbands as fathers. Personally, I have always been a huge sucker for men who love children. Loving children that are related to you biologically is pretty much expected, although that does not always seem to happen unfortunately. Sometimes we hear about men in our society who cannot or will not support or care for their biological children. Other men want to raise their children, but are denied that privilege.

Adoptive fathers sign on to take on the parental role for children... more

No more "guilt" for awhile after this post! I was on a roll. As I mentioned in Adoptive Parents - Feeling Guilty, I think if I were an adoptive parent, I probably would feel guilty if there were ethical or moral breaches in my adoption. Here are some of the acts that would disturb me and probably make me feel guilty:

1. If I did not thoroughly investigate the agency as far as its ethical and moral practices.

2. If I noticed something peculiar going... more

Are there ever times that that guilt is appropriate for adoptive parents? When answering a question like that, I try to step into the shoes of an adoptive parent. Sometimes adoptive parents angrily suggest that sometimes people seem to suggest that they should feel guilty.

I can never know exactly what it is like to be an adoptive parent. Plus, I am so thoroughly involved with seeing adoption through the eyes of a birth parent, it does make the task challenging.

However, when I was a young pre-teen considering my life, I thought I... more

As for what adoptive parents think of when they hear about adoption laws becoming more rigid, this is strictly my opinion. I believe that they react very differently than birth parents do for several reasons. After a few recent heated debates, here are some conclusions that I have reached as far as why adoptive parents are equally as firm and resolute in their convictions.

Adoptive parents too are motivated by the love of their children – by the children that they have adopted. In many cases, they have adopted children whose original parents... more

"Many shy away from domestic adoptions because adoptive parents have few rights during the adoption process."

An adoptive mom who adopted via an international adoption recently made this comment and I have been pondering it ever since.I wonder how many adoptive parents really do feel this way. I would hope that her comments is not the norm. However, her comment is perplexing to me as I believe that it most likely would be for most birth parents.

From my birth mother's view, adoptive parents have ALL the... more

Despite statistics that sometimes indicate that adoptive parents divorce less that other parents, there are many adopted children whose parents ultimately divorce. Many birth mothers that I know found at reunion that their child's adoptive parents were divorced, as my son's were.

Although blogger Sandra suggests in this post that adopted children do not have any more adverse affects from an adoption that a biological child, I wonder if that is really the case.

I... more

By our own clear-eyed assessment, my husband and I sprang from relatively shallow ends of our respective gene pools. Had we chosen to try to overcome our infertility and produce our own children, they most likely would have had crooked teeth and bad tempers and been as myopic as moles.

Nona Martin Stuck

In Modern Love - Adopted Child is a Riddle. Now I Have a Clue, an adoptive mother discusses how at... more

The question has arisen here in bloggerland at adoptionblogs.com on several occasions as to the wisdom of adopting as a charitable act. As a birth mother, I have thus far resisted the temptation to comment on this query. However, ignoring issues is not in my nature, so I decided to comment in a post on this particular issue. The subject of adopting with a “do-gooder” mentality is one that I have heard adoptees discuss. When a discussion ensues on this topic, voices rise and faces often redden.... more

Third Mom wrote an Open Mike post in which she asked: Is A Woman Ever Too Young to Parent. After a series of comments, she wrote a follow up post regarding the question at hand which included her beliefs on what to do with very young teen pregnancy.

It's a touchy subject, at best. Even I, a first mother who has placed a child... more