Sometimes life sends you wake-up calls even when you think you're walking with your eyes wide open. I must say that the past two weeks have been rather joyful in my home and my life. Not completely, of course, as things aren't ever perfect but the joy has kept me floating. You see, a piece that I wrote about my adoption journey was recently published in Redbook magazine. Recently meaning it's in the current May issue, on stands now. (Helen Hunt is in the front. My Husband thinks this is outstanding!) You can find it online here... more

I love The Shape of a Mother. It is a website that touches my soul. And my hips and my stretch marks and my extra, stretched out skin. The idea behind the site is to show that Mothers are beautiful, no matter what their shape, size or story. When I'm having a bad self-image day, I peruse the site and read the stories and am reminded that I am not alone.

Today I was reminded of that in a way that I hadn't been in my previous excursions on the site. I came across an entry entitled, "Birth... more

On various forums including the forums at adoption.com, I sometimes see adoptive mothers requesting suggestions for appropriate gifts for birth mothers on such occasions as Mothers' Day.

My thoughts on this subject always drift towards the same conclusion. Material gifts are often welcomed tokens, however, there are other ways to honor birth mothers with more significance, in my mind at least. As much as I love receiving gifts, (and my husband will attest to the fact that I truly do) I thoroughly... more

We have only met once in person so far, Kate and I. However, we have traded many emails back and forth and have gotten to know each other via those exchanges. Kate grew up in the North Eastern United States with fond memories of berry picking as a child with her sister. I grew up in the South in a suburb of Memphis in spitting distance of Graceland, hanging out at the gate hoping for a glance of Elvis.

Kate is naturally somewhat reserved and proper, but most decidely not stuffy. No one would ever describe me as either reserved or proper.... more

Before I came out of the birth mother closet, I thought adoption was relatively rare and touched only some few families. How wrong I was! Until I began telling my birth mother story to others, no one mentioned the adoptions within their extended families. Once I began talking about adoption. the floodgates opened up and it seemed nearly everyone had some adoption within their families.

Mindy, a friend that I reconnected with about six years ago is the only adoptive mom that I have gotten to know in person. We have known each other... more

Many of my Fresh Outlook Friday posts have had a positive undertone: adoptive parents challenging stereotypes, birth parents succeeding in life. This week the outlook is fresh but the undertone is somewhat hard to pin-point. It's not a negative feeling but it's a complex one that needs to be discussed. While I featured an entire series on birth parents parenting after placement, we don't hear a lot of talk from birth parents on the topic. Parenting is busy enough and... more

The opposite extreme from the happy birth mother is the angry or sad birth mother. She makes many people highly uncomfortable and in an open adoption can really can ruin the happy mood of the adoptive family. I wonder how many adoptions close because an angry or sad birth mother dampens the mood in the adoptive family? Some adoptive moms go the extra mile when a birth mom is having a difficult time - I do know that is the case. Read some of Deb's blogs if you need proof of that.

Reunited birth moms are often REALLY angry, and can be a thorn in... more

Many of us have a need for life to be simple and uncomplicated. We would also love to win the lottery. One way to attempt to make life less complex is to see life as simple and clear-cut. Everyone is either good or bad. Each choice that one faces in life has a right or a wrong solution. There is no room for any variation or deviation. Choices may be simple when you see life in this manner, however, it is not realistic to oversimplify the world in this way.

When considering what birth mothers are like, many people seem to believe that there are... more

Reading a post of Erin’s post awhile back (I think it was hers, couldn't find it!) about hating to be called a saint had me chuckling a bit. We mothers are just never satisfied are we? Adoptive moms hate being thought of as some extraordinary super moms - able to parent like no other. Compared to what some birth moms are called, being called a saint does not sound too bad; but I understand her reasoning. Other adoptive moms complain that some people scorn them and question their motives for adopting. I loved a response I saw recently on... more

There's a meme be-bopping its way around the blogosphere right now. "Real Mom Truths." Any other mother touched by adoption cringe at the title? I did as well. The meme starter probably didn't understand the long-standing angst behind the words "real mom." In truth, it's a good meme. Basically, you take the words "A Real Mom" and insert after them whate a real mom does (and share a picture of your real motherhood); some... more