Many of my Fresh Outlook Friday posts have had a positive undertone: adoptive parents challenging stereotypes, birth parents succeeding in life. This week the outlook is fresh but the undertone is somewhat hard to pin-point. It's not a negative feeling but it's a complex one that needs to be discussed. While I featured an entire series on birth parents parenting after placement, we don't hear a lot of talk from birth parents on the topic. Parenting is busy enough and... more

It is safe to say that most of the difficult issues that birth parents generally face are not addressed at all or in much detail prior to placing a baby for adoption. Therefore, I thought a series detailing many of the difficult issues was in order. In this post I will list some of the issues that I intend to address. The list may grow as I explore the possibilities.

Here is what I intend to cover in the first few posts in this series, in no particular order:

1) Telling the Rest of the World - I wonder if anyone ever is told that this... more

The opposite extreme from the happy birth mother is the angry or sad birth mother. She makes many people highly uncomfortable and in an open adoption can really can ruin the happy mood of the adoptive family. I wonder how many adoptions close because an angry or sad birth mother dampens the mood in the adoptive family? Some adoptive moms go the extra mile when a birth mom is having a difficult time - I do know that is the case. Read some of Deb's blogs if you need proof of that.

Reunited birth moms are often REALLY angry, and can be a thorn in... more

Third Mom wrote an Open Mike post in which she asked: Is A Woman Ever Too Young to Parent. After a series of comments, she wrote a follow up post regarding the question at hand which included her beliefs on what to do with very young teen pregnancy.

It's a touchy subject, at best. Even I, a first mother who has placed a child... more

Many of us have a need for life to be simple and uncomplicated. We would also love to win the lottery. One way to attempt to make life less complex is to see life as simple and clear-cut. Everyone is either good or bad. Each choice that one faces in life has a right or a wrong solution. There is no room for any variation or deviation. Choices may be simple when you see life in this manner, however, it is not realistic to oversimplify the world in this way.

When considering what birth mothers are like, many people seem to believe that there are... more

Reading a post of Erin’s post awhile back (I think it was hers, couldn't find it!) about hating to be called a saint had me chuckling a bit. We mothers are just never satisfied are we? Adoptive moms hate being thought of as some extraordinary super moms - able to parent like no other. Compared to what some birth moms are called, being called a saint does not sound too bad; but I understand her reasoning. Other adoptive moms complain that some people scorn them and question their motives for adopting. I loved a response I saw recently on... more

I've been talking about visits in open adoption all month and so it makes sense to follow along in suit with our Fresh Outlook Friday. Our visit doesn't start until tomorrow, which I will chronicle both here and (in more depth) at The Chronicles blog. However, FOF isn't about what I'm doing, it's about what others in adoptionland are doing. And so, there's another family set to visit starting... today.

Erin from Seriously? is on... more

Part 1. Other adoptive moms include Diane Keaton, Rosie McDonnell and Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone....well, you know I imagine about her foray into bad mom history. I like Diane Keaton, but I have not heard any of her views or quotes about adoption. Rosie, on the other hand, has made some remarks about adoption that indicate her lack of enlightment.

Finally, I came up with a celebrity mom that I really like - Nicole Kidman. Again, I have not heard her speak much about... more

There's a meme be-bopping its way around the blogosphere right now. "Real Mom Truths." Any other mother touched by adoption cringe at the title? I did as well. The meme starter probably didn't understand the long-standing angst behind the words "real mom." In truth, it's a good meme. Basically, you take the words "A Real Mom" and insert after them whate a real mom does (and share a picture of your real motherhood); some... more

Since my son grew up in an era in which adoption was not commonly discussed, I doubt that there was much, if any, discussion about me or his birth family. However,I am grateful that there probably were at least no negative comments made about me. Having met his adoptive mother, I cannot imagine that she would not done that.

Truthfully, in those days there was little exchange of information. I received no information about my son’s adoptive parents – that was how adoptions happened in those days. As for what his adoptive parents knew about me, they... more