Sometimes life sends you wake-up calls even when you think you're walking with your eyes wide open. I must say that the past two weeks have been rather joyful in my home and my life. Not completely, of course, as things aren't ever perfect but the joy has kept me floating. You see, a piece that I wrote about my adoption journey was recently published in Redbook magazine. Recently meaning it's in the current May issue, on stands now. (Helen Hunt is in the front. My Husband thinks this is outstanding!) You can find it online here... more

While reading about the physical relinquishment of the main character in B-Mother sent me into a fit of tears, a video that is now making its rounds on the internet via links on blogs and the wonderful technology of YouTube pushed me over the emotional cliff. Of course, the blogger that tipped me off did offer up a "Content... more

As much as I try to dispel myths about all birth fathers being bad guys, I rarely discuss birth dads who were not such great guys. Unplanned pregnancy can present quite a challenge to birth fathers, and sometimes they do not handle the situation too well. Some birth fathers are just dysfunctional bad guys, and never get any better. Others mature and become decent, loving and caring men.

At reunion, many birth mothers still harbor lots of ill feelings for the birth fathers of their children. Sometimes those feelings may be justified. Many... more

We can choose to look at any of the accomplishments that birth mothers make after they lose a child to adoption in several varied ways. I sometimes see studies and statistics that indicate that women who relinquish children to adoption are on welfare less, get more education, etc.

Frankly, I find drudging those up on agencies sites to encourage women to relinquish extremely annoying. You can choose to look at the accomplishments made after relinquishment in two ways.

Women who place children for adoption are often determined to do... more

Since I began blogging at Adoption.com over a year ago, I have caught the attention of some very caring and sensitive mothers - some birth and some adoptive. I have appreciated the opportunity to be able to offer my views here. Plus, it has been a spectacular learning experience for me as well.

Although I expect many birth mothers to understand me and mostly agree with me, I know that my views are sometimes difficult or hard for adoptive parents to hear. Yet, many of you have read my words, and thoughtfully and calmly commented, whether you agreed... more

Losing a son to adoption creates a deep numbing pain.

Rambling Birth Dad

If you have read my posts for long, you know that I do believe that many birth fathers have felt their loss deeply. Many birth fathers have intense regrets about losing their children and rejoice in their reunions. This post called "I am a Person" describes in a very simple, yet moving way how losing a son to adoption has affected one birth father's life.

There is... more

Most of our adoptive mother bloggers speak in glowing terms about their husbands as fathers. Personally, I have always been a huge sucker for men who love children. Loving children that are related to you biologically is pretty much expected, although that does not always seem to happen unfortunately. Sometimes we hear about men in our society who cannot or will not support or care for their biological children. Other men want to raise their children, but are denied that privilege.

Adoptive fathers sign on to take on the parental role for children... more

Generational Rivalry among birth mothers may exist, but I do not see it often.

I have heard a few birth mothers in open adoptions relate the thought that they believe that some of us older birth parents do not understand their pain. Society in general does somewhat agree with the notion that birth mothers in open adoptions should not suffer as much as mothers of old did. But, society has some mixed up views on adoption, right?

Similar... more

No more "guilt" for awhile after this post! I was on a roll. As I mentioned in Adoptive Parents - Feeling Guilty, I think if I were an adoptive parent, I probably would feel guilty if there were ethical or moral breaches in my adoption. Here are some of the acts that would disturb me and probably make me feel guilty:

1. If I did not thoroughly investigate the agency as far as its ethical and moral practices.

2. If I noticed something peculiar going... more

Are there ever times that that guilt is appropriate for adoptive parents? When answering a question like that, I try to step into the shoes of an adoptive parent. Sometimes adoptive parents angrily suggest that sometimes people seem to suggest that they should feel guilty.

I can never know exactly what it is like to be an adoptive parent. Plus, I am so thoroughly involved with seeing adoption through the eyes of a birth parent, it does make the task challenging.

However, when I was a young pre-teen considering my life, I thought I... more