Coley just wrote a post about Refuge House which is located in Marion, Illinois. This house helps young mothers learn how to parent well. This article stated that women had come to stay at this facility from as far away as Mexico and Florida. I suppose that may be an indication of how atypical this type of facility may be, and how few other such facilities exist.

Refuge House allows young mothers with one child to stay for up to two years. During that time, the mothers... more

"I stand by my belief that a woman is not a weak, exploitable vessel and should be given enough respectful resources to make her own choice."

This was part of a comment in a recent post of mine, and it struck a chord with me. Although I agree with the idea that a woman should be given enough respectful choices, I believe that we still have a ways to go as far as providing honest information about those choices. As for whether a woman is a weak, exploitable vessel, I do not feel it is necessary to be that to... more

Laws regulating adoption advertising differ from state to state. Some states allow newspaper ads which declare that potential adoptive parents are searching for a child, and they allow advertising in nearly every place one can imagine. Other states have strict prohibitions against such obvious methods and allow limited or no advertising.

Adoption advertising is legal in approximately 34 states. Private or independent adoptions are not allowed everywhere. Some countries or possibly some states require that all adoptions be handled through one... more

One of the most annoying aspects of adoption agency ads is the statement that they can find “the perfect family for your baby.” To begin with, this implies that a baby’s family of birth is not the perfect family for it. Who better to raise a baby that people who are “like” that baby when and if they are willing and able to parent? Shouldn't they be the best family to raise their own child when possible? Apparently, adoption agencies believe the old theory that sometimes God does put babies in the wrong tummies. The “perfect”... more

One of the difficulties with being a birth mother is that sometimes people forever judge you for that past decision for relinquishing your child to adoption. Either that or they want to congratulate you for doing "the right thing" by not having an abortion. Neither is always appropriate.

However, I do not expect people to criticize or demean me for that adoption decision. I am my own harshest critic. In my particular situation, I believe that it was not necessarily the right choice. I do not feel it appropriate or warranted for people to demonize,... more

For quite some time, I have struggled to understand the positions that some adoptive parents take when there is talk of tougher guidelines to adopt or when adoption is criticized in general. After considering it for a time, I realized that when there is talk of making adoption requirements less stringent, birth parents are highly affected as well, but in a different way.

However, I finally had an epiphany of sorts and think I have reached a conclusion as to why many of us are so firmly entrenched in our differing positions. The love... more

Abortion and adoption are beginning to be bantered about among the Presidential wannabees. For once, I would love to hear a candidate talk about adoption as if they really know something about it. Here's what I would like to tell the candidates.

Dear Presidential Candidates,

You will be discussing issues of great significance to many people. Undoubtedly, the abortion debate will be an issue to be discussed. When discussions of abortion ensue, adoption is usually mentioned as well.

Approximately one out of six Americans has... more

Somehow I get really excited when I read an article by an adoptive parent that meshes perfectly with how I feel about a specific adoption issue. Real Choices is one of those articles that excited me when I found it.

"Adoption. We can live with that."

I suppose part of my enthusiasm is due to the fact that I have some belief that adoptive parents may find more credibility in the words of another adoptive... more

Who Decides for me and my Child? reveals attitudes of some adoption social workers. I commend the adoptive mother who wrote this article for challenging this sort of behavior. Unfortunately, the kind of attitude mentioned in this article is not uncommon.

All social workers do not operate in the same manner. Social workers are no more all alike than birth mothers. Yet, we sometimes tend to demonize social workers at times as we do birth mothers.... more

When I hear people complain about how hard it is to adopt, and how unfair all that screening is, etc., I automatically think about my son and have a visceral reaction. I feel insulted in a way. My son and all adopted children deserve the same opportunities and chance for success as any other children. They are not second best because they are relinquished to adoption. Our flaws as parents caused that decision, not theirs. When a child’s original parents choose to place a child for adoption, or have their rights judicially taken... more