I realized that in the past when I have discussed searching for a therapist, I left out a possible resource. I apologize to my readers as it is based solely on my experience. I forgot to consider that every birth parent didn't place through an unethical agency and therefore has a great potential resource at their fingertips.

That said: Don't forget to call your agency!

Any ethical agency worth dealing with will have a list of resources for you to utilize... more

The infamous and sometimes scary "first week home" has been completed. We survived. Yes, we're somewhat sleep deprived but otherwise we're fairing quite well. We're learning how to be a four person immediate family instead of just three. We're learning how to juggle a two year old child's inability to understand things outside of their immediate desires coupled with a newborn child's need to have their immediate needs met, well, immediately! Basically, we are learning a bunch of things in a short amount of time. It's like an intense crash course in parenting with no end in sight!

On... more

A question was recently posed on the forums:

Should expectant parents be required by law to have counseling before and or after they relinquish their rights?

The results of the poll currently stand at 9 yeses, 5 nos and one other. The discussion that followed provided some interesting commentary on the ins and outs as to why requiring it, by law, may or may not help expectant parents or the system... more

It was one of those therapy sessions that was sorely needed. The holidays have just ended which also involved my son's first birthday and the Munchkin's third birthday. Oh, two visits in two months time. L's first meeting with J, D and the Munchkin. Let's not forget that was my first time seeing L since April of 2003. The whole Associated Press ordeal which included both praise and fallout. My D&C and hysteroscopy and most recent news from the doctor. It's been a crazy two months... without therapy.

Today I was allowed to sit on... more

I thought maybe it was hard to find a therapist with any iota of experience in birth parent grief and loss because I live in the middle of nowheresville. I blamed it on rural life which brings about less resources, less people and less discussion about adoption on the whole. Of course, after a bitter, two year search, I found my wondrous therapist. However, today's article in the Detroit News helped me understand a little more.

Well, I mean, I guess I... more

It usually takes me a day to process what I learn in therapy. I usually come home from my wonderful therapist's office feeling overwhelmed with new information, in a good way, of course. Learning how to put a new spin on things or understanding why you think the way that you do can only benefit your healing, even if learning the information makes you squirm in your seat a little bit.

Yesterday we talked about my passions in adoption, crisis pregnancy and the fight against prematurity. All of these issues touch my life personally. I'm a firstmother in an open adoption.... more

Part One.

By this point, you have called a few therapists after locating them online via one or two resources or by simply finding them in the phone book. Now is the time to dig deeper. Is this therapist a "match" for you? While the mental health professional that you're looking at may have adoption experience, is he/she understanding and compassionate with birthparents? With that question, we move on to the next Step.

Step... more

Finding my therapist was a two and a half year process. I ran into road blocks from the agency I placed through, insurance company changes and, of all things, escalating gas prices. It's true! I simply didn't want to drive an hour or more, one way, to get to a therapy appointment when I was driving a gas-guzzling SUV. It wasn't an option on our budget.

One of my bigger issues was vastly important in locating the right therapist. I wanted someone who had adoption experience. I preferred someone who had experience with birthparents in open... more

Part one.

I made the two phone calls. One was accepting new patients and one was not so it was easy to narrow down my choices. I made the appointment. I called my insurance company for the appropriate referral number. Then I waited. While I waited, I proceeded to freak out.

Upon meeting my therapist that first day, I was pleasantly surprised. I remember that she dressed intelligently but with her own flair and that she wore unique shoes.... more

Without sounding crazy, I love my therapist. Not in an inappropriate manner; not at all! I love her for being able to show me compassion, understanding and new techniques for coping. Over the past few months, her kind words and gentle teaching have helped me get in touch with my true emotions and taught me how to dig a little deeper without falling through the abyss. And to think, I almost never found this gem of a therapist.

Shortly after Nick's birth last November, things started to get slightly overwhelming. That's expected with... more