I received a comment that needs its own post to sufficiently address the issue at hand. No, it's not negative! In fact, it's a very good question and I have a very heart-felt answer.

I believe you eluded to this in an earlier comment, but I'd sure like to hear your thoughts on the phrase "gave up" - surely I'm not the only Birthmother who cringes when I hear those words???

I, personally, do not use the phrase "I gave up my child." Others can. That's fine. I don't. And here's why.

Actually,... more

I've talked about titles before and how I prefer to call myself a firstmother. I use birthmother and firstmother interchangeably and am not offended when someone calls me a birthmother. However, I am offended when expectant Mothers are called birthmothers. I'm not the only one. In a recent discussion on the forums, it was brought to our attention that adoption.com is considering changing how they refer... more

In response to my post about what a birthmother looks like, I got the following well-intentioned comment:

the only thing that I would like to say is that she is an Angel from above.

I have to disagree. Beyond my disagreement, this a huge pet peeve of mine. I went out of my way in that post to get the point across that a firstmother is human. She is not perfect. And to get personal, I am in no way, shape or form anything... more

We all have our personal preferences when it comes to titles, don’t we? For example, I have a Papaw and a Grandpa; I would never call one Grandpa and the other Papaw. We are currently trying to decide who gets what title in regards to the eleven grandparents and great-grandparents that our Son Nicholas has; and those are just the living ones. It will come down to personal preference, tradition and, in the end, what Nicholas wants to call these people who are so important in his life. So it is with adoption terminology. I, myself, prefer the term... more