Can I tell you something? I love reading about adoption (issues and all) in other countries and cultures. As Americans, myself included, we are often so ethnocentric that we think we're the only ones dealing with certain things. That's hardly ever the case. In this set of articles hailing from Ireland, I was really intrigued to read about the varied experiences of different members of the triad.

It started out with a piece by a journalist describing how her friend, a... more

I know I've been harping (yes, I chose that word on purpose) on language as of late. The written word, of course, is even more adept at lingering as is the point of written word. And that's why I have a problem with this article.

The article is talking about the "shortage of infants." (Of note that the article does mention the number of waiting children languishing in our foster care system but says, and I quote, "few can compete with the appeal of a just born... more

Over on the forums, I started a discussion about a new term being used by some adoptive parents for expectant mothers considering adoption. I supposed I should launch into a brief bit of adoption etymology before I continue on with the newest evolution of language.

Awhile ago, many adoptive parents were referring to expectant mothers considering adoption as birth mothers. This wasn't sitting well with a large number of us. The main reason being that you are... more

I was watching an adoption discussion on a private blog recently. A person untouched by adoption didn't understand the long list of terms that birth parents use, often interchangeably, for the process of relinquishing a child for adoption. He didn't understand why some people take offense at some (but not all) and why others aren't bothered one way or the other. When challenged to look at it a little deeper, he did gain some understanding. I hope you do as well.

His main issue was with the phrase "lost to adoption." In fact, I don't often use this myself... more

Thursday again? That means it's time for another list of thirteen things that are related to the birth parent experience in adoption. This week I thought I would hit on thirteen comments that I'm "cool with" hearing when I share my adoption story. (You might be able to guess what I'll share next week!)

Just like every other member of the triad, birth parents have been subjected to comments that make their skin crawl. Over the years, I've found that certain comments are either less offensive or fully... more

I read the title of this post on a forum thread, looked at the user name and thought to myself, "Yes you did. What are you talking about?" So, curiously, I clicked into the thread and began reading. Like the original author, my own wheels of thought began to turn. And yes, it's time to play the semantics game again! I know you're excited!

There are many things said about the action of relinquishment. I personally do not ever use "gave up my... more

While I've hit on biological grandparents, spouses and siblings to the placed child, there are a few other groups of people in the first family circle that might pose a titling issue. Of course, as every family unit is different, some of these might... more

Another titling issue comes up when either adoptive or first families add more children into the mix. As with any other kind of blended family, sometimes it can be confusing when deciding which title best works for your family and for the specific and unique situation at hand. At the very least, even if it's not confusing for the immediately involved family members, those outside of the family unit may balk at the chosen titles. So what's the right route to take?

So many different scenarios exist under this titling topic. You have... more

Even more confusing than what to call birth parents and biological grandparents, titling a husband or wife of a birth parent leaves many parties scratching their heads for answers. With very little precedent on what to do with scenarios like these, many first families and adoptive families together flub their way through this topic, often ignoring... more

If the issues surrounding language and birth families aren't already confusing enough, the debate extends past the biological mother and father. What, for today's example, should we call grandparents whose grandchild was placed for adoption?

The actual placement does not negate the grandchild exists. While some have chosen to distance themselves from the situation as a whole, there are other grandparents (often in open adoption) who want to be involved on some level. Whether it's a simple card at Christmas time, visits when the... more