Instead of launching into a list of valid reasons to close an adoption, I am going to offer some different scenarios in which adoptive parents might be considering closing an adoption. These will be based on comments on forums from adoptive parents who are in the process of making their decision as to whether to close an adoption and/or my vivid imagination. I will offer these situations, and then let you digest them and mull them over. Then, share your thoughts, and I will offer mine. Will we agree and come to a meeting of the... more

Why do they do it? Don't they know that walking away from their child will hurt them? It seems puzzling to some adoptive parents why birth parents walk away from an open adoption. They keep asking the question "why."

It is not suprising to me now that I have learned alot about how open adoptions feel to birth parents. For starters, I have to believe that to go through the arduous process of adoption, most adoptive parents have their acts together somewhat. They are mostly stable and strong people to even be able to get through the process. Strong people... more

Yesterday I stated how important I think it is to have scheduled check-in points if you have decided to take a break from the openness in your adoption. I feel it is vastly important to do this so that the other adult party in the adoption isn't left wondering if you are okay, ever coming back or, at worst, alive. However, let's not forget the other, most important party in the adoption: the child. Breaks effect your child as... more

Reading Coley's post, I see the good points she mentioned. Not only did she reassure readers that it is okay to take time for yourself but she mentioned discussing it with your child's adoptive parents. The latter point is a huge one and one I would like to expand on for a few moments. I think further stipulations could help other families make it through breaks with less worry and more understanding.

Breaks are one thing. Taking time to process emotions and clear... more

Do you have a personal space? I do. I do not like people, especially strangers, invading my personal space. I don't enjoy hugging new people. I don't enjoy large crowds where unknown people are touching my shoulders, arms or worse. I don't even really like standing too close to unknown people at church. I need to wear a sign that says, "If you don't know my middle name, please keep a four foot radius from my center. Thank you."

Space is also important in an open adoption. We often hear of the boundaries that adoptive... more

In the words of my tenth grade English teacher, “Communication is always a problem.” Think back to most issues in your life that were negative or stressful. Did they involve a problem communicating with someone else? I know that most of mine have been a result of poor communication. Sometimes even a total lack of it! Arguments with boyfriends, bad breakups, the loss of a friend, stress between parents and myself and, yes, even “heated discussions” with my Husband have all been started or a result of a communication problem. It should... more