A recent discussion on the forums has adoptive parents talking about how they would feel if the birth parents moved to their city. As a birth parent who doesn't plan on moving until my Husband retires, I wondered the flip side of the question.

How would you (or I) feel, as a birth parent, if the adoptive family moved to your (or my) city?

Depending on the size of your city (mine is small!) and your similar likes (many) and dislikes, running into your child's adoptive family without warning could be a possibility in this... more

I know too many birth parents who have been promised on-going, open relationships with their relinquished children and their parents only to have the door slammed in their face at some point along the way. Yet the media doesn't cover their stories. It seems that the voice of pain is only given to families who have experienced failed matches or overturned adoptions. And so, today I was both shocked and saddened to see that someone is getting some coverage on the topic of a once open,... more

I grew up driving through the tip of the West Virginian panhandle on a regular basis. We'd leave Pennsylvania, enter West Virginia and leave it for Ohio in a ten minute time frame. Living so close to the state, I was subject to a wide array of jokes in my formative years. Perhaps that's why I had a negative view of the state before I pulled up the information on how they handle post-adoption contact agreements. Unfortunately, the information I found didn't help my opinion of the state at all. Thankfully, it's a beautiful state to drive through! (New River Gorge?... more

I think I'd like to visit Washington state. It just seems interesting. I mean, their gem is petrified wood. That's just interesting! Then again, their state dance is the square dance. I can get that kind of action without traveling across the country. All that said, their post-adoption contact agreement laws aren't too unfriendly to families wanting communication between birth and adoptive parents. It was refreshing to see after a few of our recent (alphabetical) states.

Let's take a look.

What may be included in postadoption... more

Vermont. I've never been there. But I do know that they lead the country in production of maple syrup. And I like maple syrup, though, I prefer the all natural stuff that my Husband's grandfather makes over the bottled stuff. All sticky-sweet stuff aside, I had hope that a known progressive state would look at Post-Adoption Contact Agreements in a, well, progressive manner. I was somewhat disappointed. They're not totally backwards but there's some room for improvement.

Wipe the syrup off your hands and look with me, will you?

What... more

Texas. The Lone Star State. It's pretty big. It's got random weather and elevations. Their motto is "friendship" and the state's name itself is derived from an Indian word meaning the same thing. But are they post-adoption contact agreement friendly?

Let's see.

What may be included in postadoption contact agreements? Citation: Fam. Code §§ 161.2061; 161.2062 An order terminating the parent-child relationship may include terms that allow the biological parent to:

* Receive specified information... more

I like Tennessee. I like country music. While I haven't been to Nashville (though I do plan on it in the next five years as a getaway with the Husband), I've traveled through various parts of the state. It's pretty nice looking and the folks we encountered were nice. I am amused, however, that their state bird is a Mockingbird. It makes me want to sing. (Mock. MOCK!) Anyway, since I like the state so much, I was hopeful about their laws regarding post-adoption contact agreements.

They didn't necessarily let me down. But they didn't lift me up either. Or,... more

South Dakota. Their state insect is the honeybee which is rather appropriate. Why? Their laws regarding post-adoption contact agreements have me all a-buzz. (I'm funny, no?) We start out rather specific and then get all kinds of confusing somewhere in the middle.

Take a look:

What may be included in postadoption contact agreements? Citation: Codified Laws § 25-6-17 The natural parents of an adopted child shall retain no rights or privileges to have visitation or other postadoption contact with the child, except... more

I like South Carolina. It's a nice place to visit. I wouldn't want to live there because, oh, I don't do well in heat. I can't even handle the heat in the summer up north! Summer in the south would melt me! That said, I've found another reason that I don't want to live in South Carolina. And it's based on how they address, or, rather, don't address post-adoption contact agreements.

Let's take a brief look.

What may be included in postadoption contact agreements? Citation: Ann. Code § 20-7-1770(D) An agreement... more

Our smallest state is awfully big on words when it comes to Post-Adoption Contact Agreements. Rhode Island does address the issue, unlike some bigger states, and they have quite a bit to say. Unlike some states where wordiness equaled confusion, this state gets rather specific and addresses issues that previously left us questioning. It seems to go along with their state motto of, "Hope." It gives me hope for the future of post-adoption contact agreements.

Let's see!

What may be included in postadoption contact agreements?... more