I've spoken at length about the unethical practices plaguing the American adoption system with regard to how expectant mothers are treated before, during and after the adoption. I think it is also important to take a deeper look at how mothers in other countries are being taken advantage of by even more corrupt systems. I complain about how I was short-changed and lied to but my experience pales to this one coming out of Guatemala.

Now hush. I'm not launching into a debate about the legal happenings... more

I talk (a lot!) about ethics in adoption. It's no secret that there is a need for reform in that specific area. However, on a more personal level, birth parents should also be concerned with their own ethical actions concerning the adoption. I'm not talking about pre-placement stuff here. I'm talking about the ins and outs of how you carry yourself, act and react and communicated within your situation. This can be how you communicate with your child in reunion, how you update your medical file in a closed adoption or how you participate in the sharing of communication... more

I don't know why my jaw continues to drop. Perhaps it's because I really, really want to believe that we're making the necessary strides in reform efforts. Perhaps I want to believe that the general public is really "getting it." However, they're not. (And movies like Juno don't help any. No, really.) But I'm continuously flabbergasted by how corrupt the current adoption system is and the lengths they continue to go to in order to attain healthy babies.

A post... more

It might sound as though I put more of the responsibility for ethical adoptions on the adoptive parents. However, there are a few points to remember in this regard. Adoptive parents may have years to research adoption. They are generally older than most birth mothers. Lastly, adoptive parents are not usually in crisis mode as many women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy may be.

Parents who are considering placing a child for adoption need to do all that they can to educate themselves and ferret out the truth. Although it may seem a daunting... more

How would you feel if you found out that: As an infant or small child that you were stolen from your first mother’s arms by an unscrupulous person who then profited from having you adopted? Your adopted parents sensed something “fishy” during the adoption process, but ignored it anyway? Your birth mother desperately wanted to raise you, but received no support for any option but adoption? Originally your adoption plan including contact with your birth family that was abruptly closed with no reason... more

While researching a different post, I came across this question. A prospective adoption parent asked whether or not they should disclose a drug conviction. Uh, yes, definitely!

This is not the first time that I have seen questions about what potential adoptive parents should disclose, and will unlikely be the last time. How would you feel as an birth parent if you found out that you had entrusted your child to a family that had omitted important... more

In a recent post, one commenter asked what are considered “reasonable” expenses that an adoptive parent might pay to a pregnant women considering adoption. Legally speaking, most states probably have defined, at least loosely, which expenses are reasonable. If I were an adoptive parent and intended to pay for any expenses, I would check with an attorney with expertise in adoption law.

Reasonable expenses could be defined by dollar amount limits. Expenses which relate directly to the pregnancy or birth such as doctor or hospital bills might... more

An ethical adoption is not a cut and dried agreed upon entity. Although there are many items that most of us agree on, there is no total agreement on exactly what an ethical adoption entails. These are some random thoughts I feel might help people who are concerned about ethical issues in adoption.

1) Do not support unethical agencies. Be suspicious of agencies that promise a newborn in a short amount of time, and brag that none of the pregnant women who come to their agency change their minds.

2) Do not show up at an agency and demand a white... more

Coley recently wrote One Birthmother's Advice which listed the top six facts she wishes that she had known prior to making the decision to place her second son for adoption. Heather Lowe's wonderful booklet What You Should Know if you are Considering Adoption for Your Baby echoes Coley's thoughts. If you have any doubts that Coley's six facts are provided to young pregnant women, even in the year 2007, I invite you to visit... more

A few weeks ago, I had a lengthy conversation on the phone with a birth mom friend on the other side of the country in Florida. One item under discussion was how adoptive parents sometimes become defensive and upset when others criticize adoption. I mentioned that I sometimes get accused of preventing more adoptions due to my public criticisms.

"You're not making this stuff up!" she said, and she is right. If I were falsely targetting adoption practices and intentionally distorting the truth and/or lying, it would be justified to be outraged... more