As much as I talk about the effects of adoption on mothers who relinquish children to adoption, I am more concerned about how adoption affects children. People expect that because I am a birth mom that I care more about how adoption affects birth parents. That is not the case.

If a woman is not motivated to parent or cannot successfully do so because she has drug, alcohol or abuse issues, she will probably not make a great parent. Unless a family member can raise the child of a woman unable to parent, adoption may be the best solution. When I truly... more

On my son Chris' last visit to our town, he and I were out one Saturday afternoon seeing some local sights. When hunger pangs made us both think it was time for a snack, I suggested my favorite French gourmet food shop, Nicole's. Although they mainly carry specialty cooking items, including the yummiest cheeses ever, they also have a cafe and serve breakfast and lunch.

On Saturdays mornings, they have a limited supply of freshly baked pain du chocolat (chocolate croissants.) Since my daughter, granddaughter and I all love their version of this French treat,... more

We all have our own ideas of what being a parent is all about. Some events provide more joy for some parents than others. Talking to other birth parents, I have found that there are certain moments in our children's lives that we all missed the most.

Birthdays and holidays are difficult for most birth/first parents whether they are in open or closed adoptions. However, there are simpler times which we miss as well. Jenna wrote an excellent blog recently describing how much putting her Munchkin to bed meant to her. Putting a child... more

To end this brief series on a good note, I need to talk about what has been the best part, for me, in our adoption journey this year. Many things stick out in my mind. We've had some great visits. Watching my children interact has been great. D and I have learned even more about each other and have continued to build a solid friendship. And yet, there's one... more

Before birth, they are together, mother and baby with a unique symbiotic relationship. We now have some evidence that suggests that babies need to be with their original mothers after birth. Even if there is to be an adoption, some well respected authorities now believe that the familiarity and bond between baby and mother needs to be guarded and respected for a time. The theory is that bonding first with their original mothers allows them to bond better with others later, including the child's adoptive parents.

When babies are deprived of that time with their... more

I get sappy and introspective during the month of December. If my Husband can deal, so can you. I present to you the following quote:

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." -Elizabeth Stone

Any parent can atest to the truth behind that quote. For example, right now, Nick is walking. They're those unsure steps that come right after the first few steps. Honestly, he'd still rather crawl. He can get there... more

Continuing on in my thankful series, I have to say that I am thankful for babywearing. If you know me, you know that babywearing is a passion of mine. When Nicholas was a small infant, the only way we could get him to go to sleep was to wear him in a sling. Now, we wear him everywhere in our Mei Tai Carriers. It's easier on my back and he is perfectly content being held that close to me, either via back or front.

How does this relate to adoption? Well, even though the Munchkin is NOT a baby, I got to wear her this past summer. (Picture below cut!)

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You heard me. I'm thankful for naps. Okay, more so than just the random, sporadic naps that I get to take on a daily basis (which I am still thankful for), I'm thankful for naps with the Munchkin.

On their visit this past January (2006; which was hard enough in itself), Munchkin was taking a nap in my bed one afternoon. I heard her start to stir and quietly made my way into the room. I snuggled into the covers and simply laid there, staring at the beautiful creature... more

This seems to fit right in with my current theme of learning things, online, from people who were adopted at some point in their life. I was just reading my morning news blurbs.

We don't often hear from (or listen to?) teenagers. You have to be eighteen to post on the forums due to legal considerations. It's great to learn from adults who have been through those tumultuous teenage years and come out on the other side, hopefully, wiser. I personally don't frequent any sites specifically... more

I've been talking about meeting various members of the triad via online mediums. However, as I move in to talk about the valuable resource that adoptees have been in my life, I need to state a small difference. It is true that I did not know any other Mothers who had placed a child prior to coming to the internet after Munchkin's placement. It is true that while I knew parents who had adopted children as I grew up, none of these people were my own personal friends. They were Mom... more