I mentioned in another blog that the gardening term, "Bloom where planted," could sum up my son's approach to dealing with adoption. He does not dwell on the fact that he was adopted. In fact, in a previous post, I recounted a conversation in which he told me that he liked being adopted because it made him different. He told me that he remembered telling his third grade class that he was adopted for "show and tell."

Adoption was a fact of his life as it was for two other siblings in the family who were also adopted. From what he has said, his brother... more

Recently, I received a request for more posts about my son and our relationship. Taking a cue from my co-blogger Jenna, I decided to join in "Love Thursday" this week and talk about my son Chris and our relationship.

The first time he came to visit my husband and I, he stayed with us in our cozy little house. I had offered to find a hotel for him or have him stay with us. I fully expected that he would want his privacy, and not want to stay in our home. Only a couple of days before his arrival did I learn that he intended to stay with us.

It... more

On my son Chris' last visit to our town, he and I were out one Saturday afternoon seeing some local sights. When hunger pangs made us both think it was time for a snack, I suggested my favorite French gourmet food shop, Nicole's. Although they mainly carry specialty cooking items, including the yummiest cheeses ever, they also have a cafe and serve breakfast and lunch.

On Saturdays mornings, they have a limited supply of freshly baked pain du chocolat (chocolate croissants.) Since my daughter, granddaughter and I all love their version of this French treat,... more

One of the many factors which might influence a young woman to relinquish a baby to adoption is when her child’s conception is the result of a rape. I have spoken to several birth mothers’ whose pregnancies began by their being raped.

The women that I have spoken to were advised to relinquish their children due to the rape. Most did not want to do so, but, great pressure was brought to bear on them. Some women did have concerns that their child would be a painful reminder of the rape and/or the man who committed the act.

In retrospect, most women years later began to regret... more

"Lucy, you got some splaining to do."

Ricky Ricardo.

Unless you are a baby boomer near my age, you may not know much, if anything, about the "I Love Lucy" television show. Maybe you might though, reruns possibly? It was first broadcast during the early fifties, and much has changed since that time. When the show was originally aired, the word "pregnant" was considered not appropriate for television.

Studio heads were initially concerned that the duo of Lucy and Ricky might be considered unbelievable due to their "mixed marriage". Ricky was Cuban, while Lucy... more

When my reunion with my son began, I did not think about his birth father a great deal. As our reunion progressed however, I began to think of him more often. Initially, I believed that my sole need to contact his was due to the belief that he had a right to know that our son had found me. I discovered later that I needed to contact him for other reasons as well.

Eventually, I felt compelled to contact him to let him know that our son and I had reconnected. Birth dad had found me several years ago prior to this time, so, I knew that he wanted to know about our son. I struggled... more

In reading about reunion, I found several references to the fact that often the two parties in reunion may regress. The theory is that they regress back to the age that they were separated. Most often this means the birth mother would regress to her late teens or early twenties, and the adoptee would revert back to infancy. As time goes on in reunion, they hopefully grow and eventually catch up to their real ages.

One source that I read about reunion mentioned that there are four people present at a reunion between a mother and her child. The participants include... more