Having worked for the television news media, I'm all too familiar with the general gloom and doom that is normally reported. Journalists, print or broadcast, know that "if it bleeds, it leads," and producers often push ratings and subscriptions (quantity) over things that viewers and readers would like to see or read (quality). However, sometimes that quality comes through and I'm always pleased to see when adoption is presented in a positive manner.

A reunion story out... more

What would you do in order to find your relinquished child? How far would you go? What lengths would you go to? Is anything off limits? What takes you out of your own personal comfort zone? Do you consider your placed child's comfort zone when making that decision? These are all questions that a birth parent must consider when choosing to begin a search.

Obviously, each answer will be different. Each mother will have her own personal boundaries. Each mother will view what is and is not appropriate in a different manner. Each mother will go about her search... more

We often hear about mothers and their relinquished children reuniting. If the biological father is involved in the reunion, he is often brought into the picture once the first mother has located the child. In a heartwarming story featured in the Des Moines Register, a biological father went out of his way to find his daughter; a daughter he didn't know existed for quite some time.

Birth fathers get a bad reputation. It's always assumed that they... more

Going off of a hint from another reader while simultaneously finding links to a blog covering the strip, I learned that the comic strip Funky Winkerbean has a current adoption storyline. (I spoke of another one on Wednesday.) For those unfamiliar with the strip, you could read... more

I normally cringe at the term of "sperm donor." Many people use it as a way to diminish a biological father's role in an adoption. However, I actually meant to use that term in the subject of this post. Why? It's what the story in the New York Times is about: a man who donated sperm over a period of years and is now beginning to reunite with the children he thus fathered.

All opinions on sperm (and egg) donation aside, the... more

I expect that enthusiastic responses are the natural expectation when adoptive parents announce that they have adopted a child. If you already have a large family to begin with, snide comments probably might inquire as to why you are adopting again.

In general though, I imagine that the news of a newly adopted child usually brings positive comments. When most people hear that a child has a new home, they are enthused and happy for both the child and its new family. Indeed, an enthusiastic response is a natural response and should be offered.... more

Some adult adoptees are very bothered about the fact that they feel that they have had no control over many important decisions throughout their lifetimes regarding their adoptions. Few children actually get to pick their parents, so that alone is not enough to make adoptees feel a lack of control over their own lives. However, adoptees are not deemed competent, or so it seems, even as adults to be capable of wisely dealing with the identity of their birth family. Although there are a few rare instances of wild, out of control... more

For some people who are found by birth parents or their children, there is never a moment's doubt that they want contact. Others may take some time to process the idea before reaching a decision. A contributing factor is whether or not you had considered the possibility of reunion.

Being found was a total shock for me, however, I decided quickly once I knew that my son wanted contact that I was eager for contact as well. Some birth parents and adoptees take some time to decide, and others refuse contact.

However, even once a reunion relationship... more

In a recent post about reunion, Abby, adoptee blogger, mentioned that not all reunions are story book happy endings – or words to that effect. She talks about how birth mothers need to be reasonable and not expect too much from their children. I am paraphrasing her words here, but hopefully that is the general gist of what she meant. Read her post for the sake of accuracy. I could not agree with her more. Over the past... more

As I was still smarting from not hearing from my son on Mothers Day this year, I considered the whole concept of “protecting your heart.” During the time I have spent in the adoption community the last few years, I have discovered the fragility of many reunion relationships. Even reunion relationships that have endured for many years sometimes seem to go awry. The prospect of a reunion relationship falling apart is one that causes uneasiness and concern for many reunited birth parents and adoptees. No one feels immune from rejection... more