This post is one that I wrote many months ago and did not publish. I struggled with whether to post it or not. As I reread it, I realized that many of the items on here were what many of us expected from adoption. We have discovered that adoption did not play out in our lives as we expected that it would.

Adoption would always be a perfect solution:

 If babies were blank slates that you could mold and shape into a an exact replica of yourself or whatever you wanted;

 If most mothers who gave their babies to others... more

Although I have a list of favorite blogs in the works, I wanted to do an entire post about a new blog that I just found. It is written by a mother who had planned to place her daughter for adoption, but changed her mind and got her daughter back when she was seven(7)weeks old. She commented on one of my blog entries, and that is how I found her.

Her daughter was with foster parents while she was trying to decide whether to parent or not, so her daughter never went to adoptive parents. I think it is interesting to note that this occurred in Europe,... more

The stakes are a bit higher with this decision than whether you sleep in and skip work one morning. Maybe this man is married, which could get very complicated, and could be potentially dangerous if he has a jealous wife. This man could be a charming Romeo who will break your heart.Perhaps he is a con man out to cajole you out of your last penny.

He could be a dangerous psychopath aiming to do all sorts of dastardly things to you. You take a look at the information you have on this man, and maybe try to find out more. Then you weigh the options... more

Isn’t that is part of what life is all about? Weighing your options and then making decisions according? For instance, say that you decide that you want to sleep in one morning, but know that you really need to get to work on time.

You consider which is more important and then make your decision based on an analysis of the situation. Hmmm, you say to yourself, “it sure would feel great to sleep in and get some more sleep.” Maybe one or two mornings you might could get away with it – or more – depending on your job.

However, if your rational... more

My husband is the 8th child in his family of 10 children. His Irish Catholic mother and father did not believe in birth control, and apparently, she was ultra fertile. It seems that there are women these days who sometimes relinquish their babies when they are pregnant with not a first child, but a third, fourth or fifth child.

I thought about how poor my husband's family was growing up and let my mind roam. They lived in a large two story house in South Central Los Angeles, close to where the riots were a few years back. Each subsequent child... more

I can already see the mob forming as I dive head on into this subject. Let me beging by saying that I know that not all adoptive parents are fabulously wealthy. Blogger adoptive parents talk about the struggles to fund their adoptions. Besides, I am so tired of stereotyping anyone that I am determined to not do that myself.

Nevertheless, one of the major reasons that women relinquish babies to adoption is lack of financial resources. Therefore, it is a natural conclusion, at least in my mind, that at least some people find that being financially... more

Continuing with questions and answers on the State of California's website about who should adopt........

9. I don't own my own home, or I live in an apartment. May I adopt?

YES. You don't have to own a house to give a home. You may rent or own as long as your home is safe and has enough room for family members. What is most important is the love, understanding and guidance you can offer a child.

10. May single persons adopt?

Yes, single men and women may also adopt. In fact, approximately... more

I spied this colorful, tastefully decorated children's room and thought to myself - Is this the kind of room some people fantasize about for their babies? Do some believe that this beautiful room is what their babies need to thrive and be happy?

This room fits into the fairy tale "perfect" adoptive family scenario, a family who could afford this chic room. I know that not many parents, adoptive or otherwise, could actually afford a room like this for a baby. Despite the theory that adoptive families are generally financially well-off, I know... more

Recently, I made a really interesting discovery in my upper garden. I noticed that a family of birds had taken up residence in one of the bird houses that we had on our back fence. Hmmm, now that I think about, my discovery may be way more interesting to me than some - I am an enthusiastic nature lover, and birds are a particular favorite. I'm still going to tell you though!

What fascinated me about watching this bird family was the dedication of the mama and papa birds in protecting and feeding their babies. For weeks, every time I walked up the steps into the garden... more

This young girl looks somewhat puzzled to me. Maybe she's trying to make some sense of some significant questions in adoption? Most of us active adoption triad members probably have been able to make sense of some of the various issues and problems that initially befuddled us.

However, I think we all have questions which continue to plague us. I invite you to send me questions which perplex you the most. Maybe I will have some insights, maybe not. Also feel free to respond to questions I am posing. Here are questions that I still have not found satisfactory answers to:... more